Posted

Apr 30th 2005

Music

jarabe de palo

This is part of my blog in myspace , while SA was offline. I feel its proly the only thing worth posting again....
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great i just found out sheezyart.com decided to switch server and will be back within a week. Isnt it swell ? * please be smart n note the sarcasm here*

Anyways, something happened and made me reflect on life, death and the way we touch other people`s life.

Cesar, a family friend passed away on saturday ... he was at a party having dinner, celebrating life of one of his friends, dancing with his long time gf - suddenly he dropped to the floor n died. Just like that, plop and then dead. The good thing is he didnt suffer and his last moments here were spent with ppl he cared about. A nice way to go for him, traumatic for his gf n friends.

He was a true gentleman at least to me, it proved back in 2003 when he made this comment to A - "i had never seen that girl soo happy before" - any other men would have said something stupid or very "guy" type. But he didnt, he was a gentleman and showed that he cared about me, something i had never realized. Its people like him that love me well. He touched my life by that kind comment more than any of the many times he made me laugh at dinner parties. I hope that when its my turn to leave this space, i get to do the same impression on my loved one as he did on me.

Then there was him and erika, iam glad they founded each other even if they didnt got to do all the things they would have wanted to. I mostly feel sorry for her, its always the ppl that stay that suffer ... i hope i get to find someone too before its my turn to go ... also i hope i have the guts to find out what my maybe relationships mean or are meant to be , for good or bad, and that my angels guard n guide me into making the right choices.

It reminded me, we live on limited amount of borrowed time, unfortunatly our credit might expire anytime.... before saying the typical lines of : abide by your rules, no matter how weird they can be, no matter what others think .. do yourself a favor and find out WHO you are, what moves you, what are your passions in life, your ethics, your limits, what u hate n what u love ... getting to know stuff like this might take longer than what u expected.

I know i know my reflections might sound mainstream, but they are mine nonetheless... i know they are nothing new, hey they arent even new to me but this things i usually dont think about and this kinda things make me reflect on them.

I was also kinda saddnned by the reaction Marivi had towards his death. Gave me some more food for thought. They used to be great friends, so they had a huge fight and she hate him ... but he was dead and she was not even sad by the thought. She didnt even went to say goodbye and its not like she didnt had time! Its scary to see how cold heart or blinded by hate some people can be.

Yes i have been acused of being cold or harsh sometimes... but i know i wouldnt be at peace with myself if i had a reaction like that, ever! ... but then thats only silly freaky lil me.