- Posted
- Mar 2nd 2005
- Mood
- Empty
It's suddenly obvious why I'm so lost in here. I am a halfway mark. I am a central gravity, I am a glass ball neatly hinged to the middle, the epicenter, the balance. I cannot stray from a listless, unspecific impressionable form. I am a blob, easily mishapen by anything that touches me, I take on an impression of it, I represent it for a day, maybe two, maybe even a few, until something else mashes its weight into to me and I become a versioned replica of someone else. I am not anything, anything with a name, anything with a definition, a defining, a depectable exsistence. I am erased clean of all my ambitions, to be better, work harder, do more of this, do less of that, get out more, all of it drips away into sleep. Upon resting my processor I am unprogramming everything it has worked on. By the next day, I will wake and care less for that which passioned me the day before, until sleep reases it completely. If everyone can stretch so far into a direction, a theme, a becoming, they are specialized, becoming more unique the farther down the same path they should travel. I am equally stretched, but in no direction, or all of them at once, I am indigineous life, I am nondescript, all encompassing - not no one, but everyone. I am the jack of all trades, I am the master of none.
willowwolf Says:
!!! nooo!
willowwolf Says:
:( i love yous!!!!!!!
Drak Says:
Hmm.. I think I shall like to quote manson on this:
"You're just a copy of an immitation."
Everyone gets inspired by everything. You cant stop it, you cant ignore it. Some become obsessed with it, some simply accept it, some act like they're allergic to it; But it's not a bad thing when used properley. You. I think you're over reacting, or a for better analogy, you're even having an allergic reaction to your daily dose of insparation. No artist would be were they are today without insparation. None. In fact, even art itself would be nothing of what it is today if it werent for insparation.
I you feel you're so addicted to insparation, or rather, insparration is so addicted to you, maybe take a vacation from the internet, lay back and refrain from viewing much anything in terms of art. See what you're mind does. Then when you're ready, come back to the digital society. I've done this before, and I'll tell you it will help if you feel like you do at this moment. That is my speculation, and suggestion, anyhow.
I think you shouldnt be so hard on yourself either. Dont obsess over what has and hasent been done. Because, in truth everything hase been scraped before. You cant help it. I dont think it's the subject matter you should be worried about, but maybe turn to look at the portrayal of it.
I hope somethin I siad helps you out in some small way. But eh. I'll quit filling you're head with my bullshit now.
deathmask Says:
ah yes what i deam the chameleon effect, i do it to. Its where your with someone so long or you like something about that person or yo could do it without even thinking about it, but you pick up a trait of someone else.
This effect seemed to me when i thought of it as an adaptation to another person personality, wants, or dislikes.
This effect is another reason why i loathed high school, because like you, it seemed to me that i was no yet everyone at the same time. It makes you/me feel unoriginal or not special. This effect is another reason why i also hate crowds. Later down the line i just stopped caring about it and just let it happen. Not caring what people thought of me or who i was reminding myself of. It is better to not care and move on, then to care and wonder who you once were.
gogoromeo Says:
I honestly wrote about three or four different psychology-jargoned responses to this, and decided to sleep on it before posting. Scrapping that idea, and after Drak stated most of what I was going to say, all I have left are my own experiences.
I think we, as humans, place too much value on what we are and who we are. We are always trying to seek out who we are, and put ourselves into a Webster's Dictionary definition. In all actuality, I believe, when we search so hard, we rush past the truth and fail to realise it. It's alot like love (and true love at that); people run around trying to figure out what it is and are so busy trying to put it to paper that they never learn to love themselves. It's something that happens and you go on. I honestly would have to say don't worry about it. Everyone goes through an "identity crisis" and all you have to do is sit back and do what makes you happy. That's all that life really is. When you stop being what everyone is around you and just almost stop caring, you really realise who you are, and what you feel, after all the feelings of others have been wiped clean.
So just relax, grab yourself a refreshment and a bag of cheetos, and enjoy yourself. Life shouldn't be all about fitting your life into some sort of Roget Archetype. Once you push that aside, push away the hive mind that we all seem to have, that's when you learn who you are.
I hope that helps a bit. Again, all I'm really recalling on is advice from friends and myself, and my own experiences. So, if it doesn't help, then all I can really offer is a hug and an open ear for whenever you need it. Good luck.