Posted

Feb 28th 2005

Mood

Bitter

Music

Papercut-Linkin Park [actually, anything LP]

i hate today. i didnt go to school yesterday because i had a cold, so whoo, long weekend. the very instant i sat down this morning, i felt the cage of school closing in on me. i got the day over with, came home with a couple of friends, and then one of my mother's relatives calls and tells me my mother's cousin died. i knew she had cancer and that her leg had been removed...but i hadnt thought about it since the day i was told for the first time, when i cried in the middle of school. when i told my mom she cried that she didnt call so many times when she meant to...i feel drained and i just want to get out of the house. i cant stand being around my mother when i feel shitty, because im afraid i'll get into a fight with her, it always happens. when my grandparents and uncle died, years ago, i didnt cry...but now i cry over complete strangers, let alone actual relatives. i dont want to cry...i do it too often...but it'll out eventually. i just hope i dont take it out on those close to me.