Posted

Feb 5th 2011

Mood

Apologetic

((A bit random, but because I just want to put this somewhere. We just barely missed two dogs running at our car in the middle of a cold, dark, stormy night. Mer was driving; her two sisters in the back seat with me, Emily was in the passenger seat; taking us all home from a cool Monster Jam monster trucks show down at the Raymond James stadium (we'd just dropped Brandon and Isabel off at their houses), where football games are normally held. We had an awesome time, got some cool pictures of the truck crashing and jumping high in the air. We got soaked, but I don't know why that sort of contributed to our fun?

This is the first time Mer was driving us somewhere, by the way, without parents around. I don't want to say I sound like a detective-lie-detector from the new show "Lie to Me," but I'm observant already. The entire like... Three second event happened almost in slow motion in my head:

We're driving, and Emily up in the passenger seat on the right is laughing and we've all stopped to pay attention to something she's said. Well like a second later, Mer saw the dogs and her hands gripped on the wheel, steering left. Half a second later Emily saw them and screamed, "OH MY GOD!" and motioned the palm of her hand behind her seat at all of us in a flailing motion (that I assume would be, in full, "don't hurt them! Oh my God don't hurt them!" Not to say that she would rather be the victim because she did try to back into her seat, but almost hesitantly, like "I'd be ready to take the pain to save my friends but I'm not sure!") As Emily screamed "OH MY GOD," in half a second, Mer took this half a second to render the situation.

Now, I heard on Lie to Me that if you scare an animal, it's body shuts down completely in a second, and starts back up; the first action it does after starting back up is it's true nature, or a true reaction. In the episode, Doctor Lightman shot several rounds of blanks from a hand gun at the ceiling; the guy he observed basically shut down and in the milisecond he started back up, motioned his hand towards his bodyguard, who was later proven to be the man's son.

Mer's first reaction was to grip the wheel and steer right, protective, and if no other thought ran through her mind, the instinct put to words that might have was, "SHIT! Out of the way, LEFT LEFT!" (I might make fun of or mess with her for liking such creepy things, though I do too, and honestly appearing and acting almost as if she really has schizophrenia or some psychotic illness like that, but with this small event, I've realized that past that she's a good friend.) Emily's instinct was protective and anxious. I... Well... I could see myself in the mirror almost. I love things that are emotional; emotions run deep within what I have for an artistic soul and mind. But my face... My expression? I say the dogs after Emily screamed, looking to where the shocker was; I saw two rotwilers, the one more in front of the care with his tongue out, just stopping from galloping away from the middle of the road, and I saw the glare from the headlights in his eyes. The other sort of hid and shied away like he was sniffing the ground, and was more off the road than on it. They looked like they had collars on, and I might have seen a nametag-reflection.. But my expression? I could name it for you from the books I ordered by the author the Lie to Me show is modled after: Slight surprise, leaning more towards a blank expression with no micro expressions at all. Eybrows raised a little like, "hm?", almost like I didn't render it. My eyes widened a little, more slight surprise from hearing someone scream in terror. My jaw dropped a little and my lips parted, but a microexpression later, revealed an almost neutral, blank, uncaring expression. I'll admit a lot of my expressions are lies; when I listen to Emily talk about a certian show I hate and she likes it, I'll fake a smile, fake a laugh even, because, just for that I don't like the show doesn't mean I should let her stop her explanation of how great it is; I've noticed among all of her friends, Mer and I are the only ones she really expresses that sort of emotion. But.... I don't want to say that it bugs me that I might be a bit emotionless; but like that incedent with the pig? I put that on here I'm sure... I was more.. More observant than shocked, maybe a little surprised. But I have almost photographic memory, that I could tell you what happened second by second (I wish I could do that for schoolwork), which I can apparently only do for scary or shocking events that happen to me.

But anyways, Mer steered quickly into the other lane to divert the dogs and steered right back into the right lane before a car zoomed by. My mind was blank- shoulders tensed up for a moment, I looked around a little bit before back at Mer's sister Samantha, who had a hand over her mouth and looked upset. I said something like, "I felt a chill down my spine-..." and said it a second time, sort or recieving an anger-micro expression from her like she meant to say, "Don't talk to me, I'm upset!" I later found out Natassia, Mer's other sister, looked around and down in an "Oh... Oh my God..." fashion, like trying to fathom what just happened, then proceeded to copy Samantha (sort of giving me the impression that her after-shock reaction was to copy someone she knew she could look up to and follow if something bad happened). Sam later was upset, asking, "why does she have to copy me? She always copies me, wasn't even surprised herself!" That might have been a little true, that because she looks up to me more for my artistic abilities more than Mer, (which I think is because she doesn't want to look up to her sister, because Mer's more experienced than I am), but behaviorly she could look up to a "cool artist who could be calm in an anxious situation" (which I might not really understand, though it seems in freaky situations I'm less anxious than I am in calm situations).

After we were driving off, I looked back at Sam who hadn't moved, and Mer (after a long and stunning silence) tried to divert my attention by talking again, to get me to sort of respond with how I was doing. Em started talking again, but.. Guh... Any laughter after that felt out of place...

Right now I guess I feel better... But I'm a little freezing from being soaked in the rain! The Monster Jam show ticket clearly states "Rain or Shine," so... I guess I'll just have to deal. It was awesome, by the way, rain or shine. ))