Posted

Feb 5th 2005

Mood

Squiggly

Music

"What A Wonderful World,"(?) Louis Armstrong.

(The song came into my head in the shower, this morning... It was odd.)

I'm not really good with journals, I guess. Sort of like, I'm not good with forums, or chat rooms, or comments, or the kind of things where you have to talk to people.

I get scared, talking to people I don't really really know. Even if they're super nice people, it's hard for me.

I was getting a little better, at being around other people. But, i've kinda slid back into being scared. I'm a big scaredy cat. It's pathetic. I'm scared of people, of spiders, of skeletons, of teeth, of going out at night-time, of the dark, of harlequin babies, ghosts, scary movies, spoiled milk, death, coffins, sleeping alone, closets, big dogs, not finishing books, pills, being poisoned, the ocean, being illeterate, worms in my hair, my teeth rotting, people disliking me, dirty water, elephant bones, I can't even go on, everytime I think of something, tons more come with it.

So, suffice to say, I'm a baby.

And, you know, I think everyone feels this, but. I want to be a nice person, I like the feeling of making other people feel nice, and helping others. But, I wonder. What I'm I'm really a jerk and don't know it?

I feel weird, bitching and whining when i'm still so new here. I apologise, if it's neeeded.

For you--->

A balance meal.