- Posted
- Jan 29th 2005
forget all i've said. I'm no angel. Apparenly all i've been doing was telling people what they wanted/needed to hear. Maybe i've tried too hard. Maybe i try to just make up for what i don't have in the offline world. Maybe i'm far from perfect than one would picture me as. Maybe i was just too stupid to think that i would be able to please everyone i consider friends around me with my 'charm' and 'kind words'. Maybe i just don't want to feel alone, despite having a loving mate and a loving best friend; yes, i'm fucked up like that Sometimes it's qantity over quality, no offence where it might be due. But hell, if i have to change, i'm still trying.
Every fricken day(!) i ask myself why. Why the hell does everyone choose me? I'm just as fucked up as any other person. There are shitloads of people out there that are shitloads better than me; a prime example, and i don't mean to bring her up, but Vemy. She has a heart of gold; if it was any more gold, it would be... more gold. o.O Whereas me, mine must be made out of coal, or some crap.
I fail to see why i am worth it, nom atter how hard i try. I've been nothing but a disappointment even though i -have- tried. You can call me conceited, bit i know that i am worth it (more than by one), but take it into consideration, i've failed, big time. Worse than in the past. Why i have even come into existence on the net is beyond me. If it weren't for me, a shitload of heartache would have been avoided. No jealousy, no broken hearts. No hurtful words, no bad runins; if it weren't for me, none of this would have happened.
I should just make myself scarce.
blade Says:
I don't think that you should make yourself scarce. I have found you to be a very nice friend *hugs*
SorcererLance Says:
We're not all perfect....we all make mistakes. We learn from our mistakes and we grow stronger and smarter from them. Try to keep your chin up and just do your best ^^ don't leave, we love you.
kampaisuchi Says:
No...don't say that Fuzzy, that's not true. You're a good person, and try more than others. You should not say such things about yourself. My words are probably very little difference to how you feel, but, I'm willing to bet you're a very good person.
You are not bad in any way, there are far worse things that could happen if not for you, I'm willing to bet on that.
And, you could very well say such things like I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, but I do. I've faced some things, and most of them were not good. But when I really look back to see how much of a difference I have made, some things I have tried to be part of could have ended up a lot worse then they actually did.
Listen, you're effect on your friends has been powerful...and you know that. You have far more effect than someone like me could ever have, and you should be proud of that...
MegaPatron Says:
Aww come on furball dont feel that way! my mom says i have a heart of gold or in spanish "tienes un corazon de oro" I love my mom heh. I know you have the biggis shiniest golden heart then anyone els. I like you cuz your really nice and stuff
I know there are more people that like yous. Chear up Furrball =3 dont be sad be happy 
. I get said if my friends are sad and depressed. so think of your best beloved friends that love you and think of you =3. miss Heart of gold 
Turbovec Says:
Fur hun, please don't feel that way. There are already enough negative people in the world. *cough*me*cough* We love you because of who you are, and ya know what? I could tell something was bothering you for a long time, something other than the rest of the shit you deal with. Girl, me and a whole bunch of other people are here for you, and that's what matters. I'm sure I didn't help at all, but i'm here ok. *hugs*
Kilorien Says:
Is there such a thing as perfect?
Not in my opinion.
There are those that THINK they are "perfect", but they're just like everyone else.
Plus, you'd probably cause much more heartache if you left.
There are a lot of people that love you, and I don't think that you'd want to break their hearts.
If someone tries to bring you down, ignore that person.
Just being youself makes a lot of people happy.
Plus, you make people's days with your art. ;)
Besides, a lot of people need you here, so stay strong, for us.
Starpac Says:
I don't you should make yourself scarce...Maybe take a break or something,but not a total leaving,your presence is appreciated & would be missed...But that's just my opinion, what do I know?
gifhaas Says:
sounds like you are attempting to contemplate the life out of your own existance - please cease and desist this current behavior and harm those who would cause you to fall into this pattern of being!
You are our fuzzy one, you care, and you are the mechanical tomboy we wuv
CatgirlNinja Says:
Fuzzy, you're no failure, not at all... everyone feels like that a number of times... you've been asking the right question "Why does everyone choose me?" but you've not been thinking the right answer, sure you may feel like you've a heart of coal, but, to those of us who you matter to, those of us who care about you... that coal, is as beautiful as vemy's heart of gold, in fact, to us, your's is a heart of gold as well.
You've been through a lot, far more than most people should ever be put through, same goes for Dev, shi's been through hell far more times than should be allowed as well... The best anyone can do, is continue to pick themselves up, and move on, with the knowledge that out there, there's at least one person who does give a shit about you, who does care enough to go through -any- torment for you. Fuzzy, I know I've not been the nicest of people to you, if I've even been nice once... I've done little more than thought about myself selfishly whenever you were involved, always unconsiouslly thought low of you, even beneath the venier of friendship, even when I have tried to think the best of you... but despite that, the same hells that Dev would be willing to go through for you, I would go through for you... because you and I might not be close, but, you matter a lot to me, for many reasons, and if it helps at all, you have my support in any and everything you do, do not hesitate to ask anything of me, despite that what's happened in the past between us. I want you to know, that you can trust me, and that I put the same trust in you, it's about time I started acting like a friend instead of a shallow insensitive prick.
Fuzzy, Dev, the gods alone know what hells you've been through, what hells people have put you through, and what hells I've put you both through. I want you two to know, that I'm here for you guys, and am willing to help in any way I can to the best of my ability.
opiums opiates Says:
No one's perfect, furball. No One... >->
people choose who they consort wioth for various reasons... there's little point in asking why.