Posted

Dec 5th 2009

Mood

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate?
Egg nog? Hot Chocolate? What the fuck is this shit? Who the fuck are you? A heretic? Fuck you, you bitch, /slaps NOW WHERE'S MY GODDAMN TURKEY DINNER!? WHERE IS IT!?

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
I SEE NO TURKEY DINNER

THEREFORE THIS IS HERESY

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
Coloured. AH YEAH MOTHERFUCKER, WE GOT TEN YEAR OLD LIGHTS THAT STILL WORK

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Not a tradition in the household, in other words no.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
dfhfierhfuerhgergh FUCK OFF, the longer I put off carrying that big ass tree down from the landing the better.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish ?
TURKEY YOU BASTARDS, GIVE ME MY FUCKING TURKEY OR HEADS WILL FUCKING ROLL I SWEAR, YOU WILL ALL DIE BY MY HAND IF I DON'T GET MY FUCKING TURKEY

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child?
Snow, y'know, instead of THIS FUCKING RAIN, RAIN AFTER RAIN AFTER RAIN, FUCK RAIN, WE GET IT IN SUMMER SPRING AUTUMN AND WINTER FUCK IT, GIVE ME MY FUCKING SNOW

And yes Holly I still have my N64 too, I bought it on a ship

ON A GODDAMN BOAT MOTHERFUCKERS

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
EWTN with a documentary on St.nicholas

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas eve?
Nein

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
LIGHTS, OTHER SHIT, MORE LIGHTS, TINSEL, SOME ANGEL WE STICK ON THE TOP, MORE LIGHTS, GOD-DAMN I LOVE THAT TREE

11. Snow, love it or hate it?
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR

12. Can you ice skate?
FUCK ICE, SERIOUSLY


14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you?
Well I'll take a serious time out for once that as well as Family I also take the religious aspect of it quite seriously and enjoy just as much if not more on occasion AND I CANNOT HELP BUT LAUGH AT PEOPLE WHO SAY HAPPY QUANZA OR SOMETHING TO ME IN ORDER TO OFFSET ME ON THE STREET AND THEY ARE SURPRISED WHEN THIS BIG FAT TALL BASTARD (me) FROM A DANGEROUS PART OF THE COUNTRY WHO ALSO HASN'T SHAVED IN WEEKS GIVES THEM A FUCKING BEAR HUG AND SAYS QUITE AUDIBLY "MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU RIGHT FUCKING ARROGENT SEASONALLY ANNOYED BASTARD YOU, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR WITH MANY MORE TO COME"

It. Is. Priceless.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
ice cream,

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Presents, the tree and house decorations. Oh and the back to the future trilogy EVERY CHRISTMAS, EVERY DINNER, AMERICAAAAAAH FUCK YEEEEEAH

17. What tops your tree?
Angel. TRADITION, FUCK YER

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?
I WOULD prefer giving, but I never have any money any years to buy my folks anything and that REALLY annoys me.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?


FUCK YOU PANSY SHITS, THIS SONG IS GODDAMN CLASSIC AND EVERY RIGHT TO BE

YOU WILL LISTEN TO IT MOTHERFUCKERS

AND YOU WILL LOVE IT


20. Candy canes:
Those things can survive nuclear holocausts AT THE EPICENTRE and will outlive cockroaches

Get those fucking things away from me, they are like, relics of the elder gods or something, damn

21. Favorite Christmas movie?
Flip I can't think, pretty much anything to do with A Christmas Carol

22. What do you leave for Santa?
used to leave different shit every year. Even roast beef once I think. Also alcohol.


GOD DAMN I LOVE CHRISTMAS