Posted

Oct 27th 2009

Mood

Content

Music

Early Winter by Gwen Stefani

Okay so i've been looking at the thingy on the side and man it has been a huge long time since i posted a journal here or at SA. So today i'm posting a new thing and i'm going to cut and paste it to both so i'm going to talk about situations all around.

So first off i see that the first thing that i need to talk about is my dad. On my last entry i was coming to terms with my dad's situation and about how he was going to die eventually and i didn't know what i was going to do but guess what he died. I couldn't believe it. It wasn't sudden and it was something that we all was going to expect but i was stunned. In August he died. I guess i need to come to terms with that but how can a girl comes to terms with loosing her daddy.

I was always daddy's little girl. I tried not to be that way but it was just the way things were growing in my house. I was the baby and then i was sick so it was all about our bond and he had a great bond with us all but he and i were just we were everything to each other. he was sick for a whole year and i never went to see him because i couldn't take seeing him that way.

The cancer was killing him and just like with my mom i didn't go and see him and everyday since i didn't go and see her i regretted it and you know what it's starting all over again with my dad and i know i know that i should have known that i was going to feel this way but i feel this way and once again it's something can't be solved now. But i don't know what to do. I see him every where i turn and that's not good. I miss him so much. His birthday is coming up and it'll be the first without him. i had already gotten his gift so yea what i'm going to do. i don't know really. i guess that is just something that you can't turn back time but if i could that would be the one thing that i would so that i could tell him one more time that i love him. Although the last day i did see him while he was alive and well and i hugged and kissed him goodbye i made sure that was indeed what i said so he knows.

Okay on to some other business that pissed me off. Lets talk about the website www.sheezyart.com. They are bastards. They make this rule where you have to name where you get all the images for your artwork and yea i'm all about that. i agree that this is something that you should do. so i was taking the time going through my gallery of like three years from the front to back and back to front just in case the day for them to destroy me well get this i'm almost done and you know what happens? They get me without a fucking warning. you are supposed to be given a warning you know. they didn't though. It's all good though i'm totally going to add all my stuff back and then i'm adding something to where i get them and then what will they do. But man i'm still pissed. I had been adding stuff for years and now they do this. Oh well what can you do.

later days

latoya