Posted

Jul 11th 2009

Mood

#######WARNING######
This journal may contain information that not everyone will be able to get or "nerdenstand."

It's been a while since I've made a nerd journal (or rather a "Nerdnal" hoo, hoo, hoo) about ANYTHING. Usually I've got nothing to complain about, but lately I've been partaking in what used to be one of my favorite little-boy activities:

Playing Final Fantasy 7.



By now, I think everyone who is anyone and thinks they are cool enough to be super cool awesome, have probably already heard, know of, seen the movie or hopefully played the game... Right?

The game was recently re-released for the PSP and Playstation 3 by means of downloadification across the invisible electromagnetic "twitches" of the benditure of air and fatty acids.

It's all highly scientifical.


Anyway, carrying on. The Golden Saucer is a Disney-like theme park of sorts where you waste all your money and time trying to get all sorts of expensive items that you need to become more awesome than you think you are.

In order to get anything you need to play """""FUN"""" minigames that will give you GP money. It's like Disney money.

You know how in Disneyland you pay real munny to get fake Disney munny? Well, it's practically the same. You spend your game money to get game theme park money. To add to the confusion here's more stuff!



Ah! The battle arena! Here is where you get some of the game's most useful ~ and Cloud's limit break "OMNISLAP" In order to "buy" these items you need to use game theme park money to get BATTLE POINTS!

The thing about the battle arena is that by every fight you win you get a handy cap like, "Your weapon is broken!" or "Now you're a frog!" or "You're totally facked in the ass forever you loser!"



There are ways to get around the slots though, for instance if you wear a ribbon or if you have materia that'll kill multiple enemies (Slash-all) Usually the enemies don't pose a threat, sometimes the slots won't even be that problematic with your trusty ribbon, but sometimes it's just the order you get them in that might screw you over.

As of yesterday at around 4 p.m., I decided to get said valuable items. I managed to get OMNISLAP in 3 battles which took about 30 or so minutes.

Afterwards I wanted to get expensive item number 2 but was unlucky enough to get my accessory broken, my magic broken, my sword broken and my items broken. Oh, also I was turned tiny.

So, I get to the final bad-bad, this case this guy:

which usually doesn't cause much trouble. So I had regen which healed me constantly, so anytime it did anything I'd heal. Eventually it ran out of skill points or whatever. It just stood there doing nothing.

See, the thing about being tiny is that you only do 1 damage ever, forever. Here's another tid bit of information:


I think I managed too hurt him with magic at one point, so maybe my magic wasn't broken, I just didn't bother equipping any healing magic to make my tiny go away.

ANYWAY! 1 damage every 4 seconds.

Or so I thought! It takes 4 seconds for the bar to fill and another 4 seconds to perform the actual hit animation. So it's about 8 seconds per 1 damage. For every minute (60 seconds) I would do...

60 divided by 8... 7.5, I would do 7.5 damage each minute. So, for every hour, I'd do... 7.5 x 60 = 450.

450 damage every hour. I was at work while all this occurred, so I had to get back to my duties.

Using the corner of a small mirror and the weight of a metal bastard I have, I managed to let the gave attack over and over while I did my bid'ness.

An hour passed and it was still going.
It got to 5:30 and it was time to go home, by then it had been an hour of whackin' the serpent over and over to no avail.

Afraid to lose my battle points (you get no points if you die or run away) I kept the game on for 9 long hours, finally deciding to turn it off at 2:30 in the morning.

My only mistake had been not packin' a 'heal' materia :/

Apparently this has only ever happened to one person ever in the world 'cause believe you me, I looked:
It happened to some dude only different.

So there you have it: the Golden Saucer! Everyone hates it but no one can ever leave! EVER!


Maybe next time, Tifa will help me fix my minimized state.