- Posted
- Jan 24th 2005
- Mood
- Blank
- Music
- Enya
By the title, yes, just yesterday, my one aunt died from cancer. It just seems like everyone in my family like keeps dying from cancer. I hate that whenever I'm close to someone, a relative or a friend, that they always end up dying on me or leaving me stranded and not giving a flying fuck about me or about how it makes me feel.
Ugh, sometimes I wonder why I keep on even trying anymore. So very, very close to just giving up on everything and everyone. Just don't know how to keep dealing with death's in the family or death of friends or just everyone and anyone just fucking leaving me and stranding me on my own to deal with all this fucked up shit. Too hard to keep trying, too hard to keep doing anything anymore.
Anyhoo, guess I will just end this for this time and sorry for the swearing and sorry if no one feelings like reading this entry let alone replying to it.
Spikesbloodydame Says:
Hi,
Well i'm not going to start this post by saying that i'm sorry and that it is going to be okay becasue i'm sure that you've heard that enough from people that you know and you don't need to hear it from a stranger.
I know where you are at my mom died when i was young she had loopus and she need a kidney and loopus is a form of cancer. She was not the first to die of it in my family it runs in my family.
I know what you're going through and i too have loved a lot of people only to find them leaving me in the end because of death or other tragedies but i just want you know that it gets better. Not today and surely not tomorrow because it's not suppose to happen that quickly. But one of these days you will wake up and it will be fine and you know what that will be okay. So you take this moment and remember the good times that you had with her because remember she may be gone in body but her spirit lives on and she wouldn't like that you thinking that you wished it all would be over now would she.
Now i'm going to go now becasue i don't know what could be going through your head as you read this. Listen it's hard and it's going to hurt like hell but she's in paradise now and she will feel no more pain and she happy. Now you have to go on with your life so when ever she looks down she can see the happiness in you and feel like she's still there.
Now i'm online all the time and if you need a friend who knows what you are going through, and feels the way that you do now almost everyday of the week you find me and we can talk about anything. Keep your head up darling.
later days
latoya