- Posted
- Jun 12th 2009
- Mood
For those who remembered; I survived the dentist yesterday.
OK, before I start writing/you start reading this journal some important stuff about it;
- I'm writing this because I want to get rid of the last part of my... depressed feelings. (Depressed somehow doesn't seem to fit, but it's the best word I can come up with.)
- I'm not waiting for comments like "I hope you feel better soon" and stuff like that. What sort of comments I want then? Well, if you feel like commenting, try to say something which is really about the topic, something that maybe got a solution.
- I might not even submit this journal when I've finished writing it. The first objective of this journal is to get my thoughts ordered, then I might submit it if I feel like it...
- I'm not writing this to offend anyone. This journal is supposed to be about me/my feelings, not about you. (Even if I give examples about things that really happened to me, it's not meant to 'attack' anyone.)
- Only read this journal if you want to. (The same goes for commenting.)
- I was planning to write this for some time already; it's not because of things that happened recently that I'm writing this now. (It's part of a sort of plan I've made with myself to just write things out when they are bothering me.)
OK, that's it, this could get pretty long. Decide for yourself if you're going to read it.
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OK, there I go...
*Takes deep breath*
As some of you might know; I'm not feeling really good lately.
It's because of a combination of events that happened; some of you know about them, but I'm not planning to tell you about all of them. (I don't believe the solution is in the problem anymore.)
It comes down to this: it's pretty complicated.
The problem itself isn't even the problem anymore.
I slowly have become my own problem.
I think too much.
I think about what happened and what could happen.
That's not really good.
I've made myself really sad a couple of times doing this, thinking.
And, obviously, I don't want it anymore. I prefer someone who's cutting my hand off over these irritating thoughts.
Seriously; it is that I know suicide has completely no use and that I've got some people cheering me up once in a while (I love them), but else I would probably have done something to myself.
I'm angry at life.
Why does it give other people chances while it forgets about me, while those other people are ruining the chances they've got; complaining about stuff that is pretty useless in life*.
*that's pretty harsh from me. It depends on your point of view what's important. But I'm just trying to tell you how I feel sometimes.
I don't want to think those things anymore. (Even if I am right; thinking things like this sucks.)
So, how do I stop it, that's the big question.
I don't know. (Well; I do know a few solutions, but those aren't going to happen, so I don't know.)
I guess that's pretty much it for now... (I don't know what to write anymore. I guess there is more, but I just don't have the words for it anymore.)
Meh; if somebody got an easier version of life, please count me in.
Merina Says:
The problem is partly in the problem, because that is where it started.
Obviously if the problem wasn't there there's a big chance that you wouldn't be thinking this way.
So what do you do? You start at the roots, the very beginning of the problem.
I myself am pretty annoyed at things as well, I have decided to write in my diary whenever I feel bad as hell.
I realise that upsetting myself too much hasn't got much use, because if I do that, nothing is changing so far.
Another thing I personally do is try to focuss my mind on something else, hang out with friends, watch tv.
Those type of things.
Instead of focussing on the negative, you could, try and make a list about the positive.
That's about anything I can say for now.
I hope it helps. And if not, it was worth a try.
dakan Says:
"It's not bad to be angry, it's bad when you hurt people with anger"
Anyways, my pointview would be not to think too much what has happened already, if you are worrying for a thing/problem that is destroying you, why is important to worry about that thing/problem?
If that is actual and a real problem(very very awful), you gotta find your best way to solution, not by thinking negatively, by positive ways.
Do also things that can relax you.
i have nothing else to say i think but this is my try to help you
Smiling Devil Says:
I actually know what you mean with thinking too much, which really helps is doing stuff which makes you focus on them.
We love you already, now you just have to love yourself first.^^
And to be honest, life has just started for you, so you haven't got many opportunities to even get chances. You'll get them soon enough and when you get them, you'll probably ruin a few of those too, just like 'other people'. That doesn't matter at all though, because we're not perfect, if that would be the case, then it'd be pretty scary...o.0
So cheer up emo boy!