Posted

Jun 3rd 2009

Mood

Discouraged

Well, I had a bomb dropped on me last night. After weeks of planning to go to Apollocon with me and assorted other things that led me to believe things were okay, my boyfriend decided to tell me he's not renewing the lease on our apartment and he wants to get his own place, thus breaking our engagement. Soooo... that leaves me kind of hanging with 20-some days to get my shit packed, find a place to hole up in the city so I can continue working and save every last screaming penny so that I can scrounge enough to move up to stay with my best friend in New Jersey.

Needless to say, this kind of puts some huge cramps in my art business. I won't have room to mat anything for months and months even after I move north. My best friend's house is TINY and there's just no room for me to work. Most of my stuff will have to go to storage until I can get working and either we move to a bigger place or I manage to scrape a place of my own. I've no idea what will happen once I get north. But I've been feeling the pull to go north for a long time now. I'm sick to death of worrying over hurricanes. Sure, winter storms suck, but the way I stockpile food and stuff I can manage those better than weeks of no electricity in the Texas heat with little ice available, no fresh food available without clubbing someone for a month, gas shortages and all the other tons of crap that come with going through a major hurricane. I'm getting too old for that shit. I almost went stark raving insane last time and I just can't do it anymore.

Up north puts me closer to a lot of conventions and shows. If I can manage things right and catch a little luck for a change, that may work to my advantage. So I'm looking at a slamming door pushing me toward an open window. A beginning from an end. I've come back from worse. I WAS homeless for two years and very sick during that time, too. I'm still sick, but not as bad. And I at least have a job and somewhere to go this time. Let's just hope that open window doesn't end up being 20 stories up....

I'm going to have to nuke updates. I just won't have time with all the packing and hauling. So, apologies for not commenting and reading journals and such. I'll be gone for a bit, but not forever. I'll be back when life settles back into enough of a routine for my now brain-smashing ADHD to chill out enough that I can actually enjoy your works rather than just bouncing aimlessly off the walls. Gods help me, having my routine screwed all to hell is the worst thing for me these days. It makes me rather mentally unstable. Luckily I can retain enough grip to explain it to people so they know what to expect on the bad days and just back up and leave me be.

See you again when I can, Sheezy peeps. I'll miss your pretties while I'm away.