Posted

May 27th 2009

Mood

Alright, guys. I'm finally assured that there is no evil within this community, any longer.

Okay, Tabuu and some other minor characters are still here, but obviously, Tabuu sucks and the others don't count.

But here's where things change; first off, I ain't riding no crapping horse; I ride a BMW Beamer with fuckin' JUGGERNAUT on my hood and thrust so wet you can hear it sloshing when the car stops.

Another thing, seriously, screw the getup. I need shit that Snake has and some GUNS. Would you like to shoot those damn spear ogres in the face? I SURE WOULD.

Don't call me Link, that sounds like a reference directory, or some crappy emo band, call me Asspuncher, and I go around with the slogan "park my bricks," as in, "I'm gonna park my bricks through your teeth, fugga!"

Before I leave, I'm going to spray paint "The King eats briefs" all over the castle, and I dun gif a FUCK who naysays! I'M THE BEAST OF THE TOWN.

I need shades, beer, muscles, and a pickup line for chicks. "Park my bricks" works, again! "Lemme park my bricks in your butt, baby girrrrl."

My sword better be dipped in PLAH-TEE-NOHM before I get back from my shower in imprisoned-evil-genius tears, and if they smell like eggs, it's because they don't smell like pain.

Fuck that shield, I better have an entire damn TANK to defeat the purpose of a sword, car and shield! It better have MY FACE AND MY MIDDLE FINGER before I start handing out asses left and right! The tank WILL SHOOT BRICKS, AND THEY WILL BE PARKED IN FAGGOTRY.

You people are lucky that I risked my ass for you whiners. I oughta slap your begging face with my brick-parker, and if you're thinking about tanks, I'll make you a dead-ass clown. If I don't have targets to practice my new crossbow before I turn twenty, FAT BRICKS WILL FIND YOU ALL.


Beat it.