Posted

Feb 2nd 2009

Mood

Empty

I really don't!

I don’t know how this journal will turn out. Usually I go to the other sides of the interwebs to write journals like this (lolprivatejournalsftw) But this is art related so why not put it here. :]

It may be a tl;dr, depends if you give a shit lmao!

1st off it has snowed for at least a full day here. School had to be cancelled and many things around the country grinded to a halt. All over 8 inches of snow? well my step dad’s friend nearly died on the motorway after swerving and doing a full spin. So I guess it’s understandable everything’s stopped. Tomorrow should be brighter and much less snow. Although another 10 inches is predicted..

Personally I think it’s a nice way to start February, having a Monday off at least. Means I could sit here and draw to my heart’s content. I’ve been dying for something like this. Yet lately I’ve felt..empty and drawing seems pointless. A lot of things do. In fact everything I’ve done lately I’ve asked myself ‘what’s the point’ and just slumped there, staring at the floor or screen listening to friends but never fully listening. Not this time anyway. It’s strange because I’ve never felt this way before, this feeling of...a lack of purpose, maybe it’s because of all the changes happening or that are going to happen. Art is for sure because I feel so confused about where it’s going, but excited at the same time. This feeling of uncertainty...It’s a thrilling thing. I’ve said this to some people on msn and they know how I feel about my art plans this year. A lot of ‘changing’ and experimenting. Starting off with style. Trial and error, but it will get there. Till then...I don’t know what I feel for it at the moment.

I don’t feel depressed though, just this lack of anything to make me show my feelings. Maybe a hug would solve it, or helping some-one would bring back the fulfilment. For a few days now I’ve just sat around with this constant nagging in my mind. Or maybe that’s the constant headaches imo lol.

A friend of mine did tell me to keep struggling on with artwork, and getting it out there is better than locking it up while you eat away your mind. SO I’m doing a picture. But I’m worrying myself on the themes I choose. They’re not scary, just..a lot darker. ‘Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me’ <- shit like that. But I have an Alice and wonderland thing planned. That’s going to come along just fine. Probably my next submitted thing, but it will take awhile. *sigh* Time.

I’ll end off here, but I’ll ask you a question.


If no-one reads this properly I’m fine with that :] Just take care guys ok?