Posted

Oct 22nd 2008

You know, I recall a time when I posted a Fritz & Donna t-shirt design and everybody I knew said that they planned on buying one. WELL WHERE'S MY MONEY, SUCKAS!? I am personally offended that each and every one of you have lives outside of me and haven't spent every waking moment scrounging together the cash to buy a shirt bearing the likeness of two characters nobody has ever heard of! This realization that the world does not revolve around me has forced me to launch into a suicidal frenzy the likes of which this world has never seen! Expect scans of my bloody wrists every couple of days.

... Did I do a good enough job of imitating the average artist back there? Yeah, you're right. I wasn't unlikeable enough. Anyway...

Speaking of scrounging up cash, I'm trying my darnedest to gather up the money to buy custom-built Fritz and Donna puppets. Fortunately, the puppet builder I've contacted is willing to give me a very good price for the two of them: $615 total including shipping! Super cheap for custom puppets! Unfortunately, that's STILL a lot of money for an unemployed house-husband!

Here's where YOU come in!

I would love to make YouTube videos with Fritz and Donna for occasional Planet Z updates and I know for a fact that most of you out there would love to see it as well. Don't lie to me, boy, you said so yourself! So, because you all love me, I'm crawling on my hands and knees and pleading you like a pathetic child to help donate to my cause and make my dream come true! Think of it as the Make A Wish Foundation for completely healthy fat little cartoonist guys!

Wow, that sounds lame, doesn't it? Well, if it helps any, I'm also still open to commissions, and I'm open to suggestions for more store items as well. Not that I expect that will help much. I know how you guys are about buying shirts! Harrumph!

So, yeah... Seriously, though. For the total of three family members and friends who regularly check out my websites, just send me cash this year for Christmas, okay? I REALLY want these puppets! And for those of you who don't know me personally, send me even more cash to make up for the shame of not knowing me! You people make me sick!

Matt Garner,
Toastmaster General