Posted

Jan 15th 2005

Mood

Shaky

So some of my space buddies and I have been playing that silent hill 2 game again, and it occurs to me now that the main character is really just retarded beyond all comprehension.

Seriously, if I were to waltz into that shithole I would be like OH HAWL NAW and turn my tail right around and never come back. The unearthly noises coming from the bushes are your first hint, James! GET THE FUCK OUUUUUT

Plus, there's the little thing about the hideously malformed tranny-whore-zombie things cavorting all over the place. And when our protagonist sees this crap he's all like OH THAT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME THIS IS PERFECTLY COMMONPLACE HO HURM OH LOOK A MAN WITH A FUCKING OFF-RAMP FOR A HEAD THAT'S JUST FUCKING LOVELY OH LOOK HE HAS A GIANT KNIFE THAT'S TOTALLY FUCKING NORMAL TOO IT'S JUST A BIG FAT FUCKING NORMAL JAMBOREE RIGHT HERE IN THIS HIZZY

And whenever he sees a hole he's like MAYBE I SHOULD GO DOWN THERE, NO LADDER, I GUESS I'LL JUMP EVEN THOUGH THERE'S NO END IN SIGHT I MEAN I COULDN'T POSSIBLY BREAK MY LEGS OR ANYTHING NOPE SIRREE


...Why does the historical society connect to the prison? I am half tempted to call S.Hill's city planners and complain, but then I realize it's videogame and there's nothing I can do but whine in frustration and TERROR.

BUTTER TEARS