Posted

Sep 19th 2008

Mood

Dejected

Music

Saw Something-Dave Gahan

Title- Lyrics from a song that goes well with what I am about to rant about. At least I felt it did.


Okay, you know what, I am getting really tired of my life right now. No Im not going on suicide watch. I am rather just disgusted, frustrated, hyperventilating, lost, conflicted, beyond angry etc. Perhaps, there are people with worse things I realize this and I do not need a lecture on it. Everyone has problems they need to voice, don't patronize them, help them instead hm?


I won't go into personal details to far but the pressing thing for me right now is college and being jobless, as well as being stuck here. Yes, I live in CA but its no different to me then a small town in the middle of no where. Why? Because this city offers me nothing, I feel nothing from it, I was born here yet I feel I belong somewhere else or no where. It is nothing but a huge cage a big city cage full of shitty commercilized technology and wannabe 'liberals'. I am an artist, I need inspiration, but I get none from here. I can't find a job because the economy sucks. I applied to the lowest of the low things and they say they have enough or just plain reject me.

I want to get out of here. Period. I feel like I should be a no-mad always moving.


Anyway, now to College, I am taking classes that are considered college level and they are no such things. Its an English class and we are doing Juvenile "presentations" what about litrature? Aren't we supposed to be expressing views in essay form? No....I am tired of being shoved in classes that say their something when they are not! This will not help in career at all.


Luckily, it is only a community college so I am not paying 1700 for these unbelievable things. CA's education has gone down the tubes, and I fear I will not meet my goals here. I am an intelligent person and I get frustrated when I am not challenged.

This is why I want to be a nomad, hopping from place to place, learning about art from the traveling perspective. Then when I find the right place, go to a school that will teach me, for my idea of a business.


I am tired of being tied down here....I want out.