Posted

Jul 12th 2008

Mood

Confused

I say it again because I don't know what else to say right
now after being preposed to...

Noooooooooooooooooo! Forgive me for sounding biased or old fashioned but what happened to the guy proposing to the girl?

Okay, I have to get this off my chest. I never thought it would happen like this but a close female friend of mine, that I've known for a while now, --and we are good friends may I add, as I am with many females-- came by my house crying tonight. This actually happened about a couple of hours ago. I'm not going to go too much into detail about the particulars for she will probably end up reading this, which I don't mind at all. Just don't take it the wrong way if you do.

I love her with all my heart as if she was my big older sister.
Tell you the truth, I never would have guessed that she liked me at all. We always joke around and what not or used to anyway. I haven't spoken to her for a while do to my new busy
schedule and her working all the time. So guess what, she appears tonight at my door out of the blue and asks to come inside. Of course at the time I saw nothing wrong with it. Where good friends after all and have been through so much together. Well, a fine night for everbody to be out of the house. Maybe it was meant to be, who knows but I noticed her face was flushed and her voice was way to low for her normal self. I knew at that point something had happened. She asked me how I was doing and about the family and I told her we were fine.

We started playing a few games, video games, and then she told me about her brother being sick and her father had cancer. She hasn't been home in a while due to family issues, who doesn't have them, so she wanted to know if I would go with her to upstate New York which is where her family lives. I agreed to go trusting that dumb ass story and she takes me out to dinner. Okay, I felt a little weird but I tried to remain cool as possible knowing I'd eventually find out where all this was going and she then pulls the oldest crap in the book.

The waiter brings over some wine, which I can't drink anymore but she doesn't know that, and in them are two rings. Okay, at this point I ask queerly whats with the rings, not like I didn't already know. She just kept laughing nervously and asked me to put one on my hand, which I did, then insisted I put the other on hers. The next thing I know were going back in the direction of my house and I got really uncomfortable them so I asked her what happned to us going to visit her dad and brother and she then one thing lead to another and she asked me when would be a good date for a wedding. I laughed nervously and asked why and then she kisses me and tells me she loves me, blah, blah, blah lets get married.

Okay, I was shocked, floored, dumb founded, ect, ect, and politely handed her back the ring on my finger and told her I'd have to think on it but with all that was going on in my life right now she could definetly do better than me. I didn't feel the same way as her about this. It was so sudden weird and out of the blue. Okay, all you ladies probably have a few things you'd like to say about this situation, I'm sure, but I did what I felt in my heart was right. I didn't want to hurt her feelings cause lord knows I've done it before, with other young ladies I mean. I'm very bad at breakups so yeah... Well, here I am now trying to make heads and tails out of what happened tonight. I know I don't feel the same way my friend does but I don't want to hurt her feelings. I've done this before and I don't want to date someone out of pitty again.

What to do? I don't know. I guess tomorrow with help me think a little clearer cause my head is muddeled right now.