Posted

May 1st 2008

Mood

Anxious

Today I went to the community college that is really, really close to my home.

They finally got the transcript I ordered from AI to be sent to them, after about 3 weeks.

Yesterday I went to set up a meeting with a counselor so that she could tell me which assessment tests I was excluded from.

It turns out that NONE of the classes that I took at AI help shave off any sort of credits from this school, i.e. taking college english, U.S. history and many, many social science class, like public speaking class.

This is a super, mega, huge bummer.

I just found out that I basically lost one year and a half of my time with a hefty price tag (about 40 thousand dollars.)

So, I have to start all over a again.

Tomorrow I am to take the english, reading and mathematics assessment tests.

They will probably take about an hour each, probably.

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Its the hot weather season, so all the little bugs and lizards are up and about here. Last Friday a lizard managed to get into the bakery. We stared at each other for a bit, but it was getting a little past the time I leave work, so I hesitantly shut the door behind me, lizard and all.

The next Monday, (two days from today) I looked everywhere for it and imagined it had probably escaped during the weekend somehow, escaped through the door or the big warehouse door when all the people started showing up and making noise or died.

Dani and I made jokes about the similarities of the "small animal adopts kitchen as its place of residence" that this occurrence had to a very popular three dimensional animated film.

Lizartoui.



Anyway, I had put the lizard past me.

'Till today.

See, there are some of them "sticky traps," the kind that are used to catch mice and other vermin.



Well, unfortunately it got caught on one of those.

I wasn't moving, so at first I was shocked to see that my scaly adversary had been downfallen by such a lame trap.

I had to clean the bathroom, so I didn't pick it up.

When I was finished, I went back to get it.

I stomped, just in case it was gonna spring up and bite or something, but it didn't move.

I picked it up from one corner, I was going to go throw it in the trash, when its eye opened and it started doing that bleh bleh thing with its tongue.

I almost dropped it, but that would have been bad since those sticky things are hard to unstick from anywhere.

It started to try and get away, but it was very well stuck all but one of its feet where stuck to the thingy and, perhaps in an attempt to escape, had tore off its own tail, leaving blotches of blood from one tip to the other.

it moved from side to side, and every time it did, it exposed a little of its underside, which, directly resulting from such tilting of its body, was tearing and stretching its own scaly skin.

I put it on the sink not really sure what to do.

I poured a little bit of water next to its mouth thing, but that just made it squirm some more.

I had other bathroom duties, so I continued to do them. When I came back, I had water to dump, but little Lizzie being in the sink proved problematic.

I carefully poured the yuck water, without it falling on Lizzie when it hit me; water.

I had left a bucket with some rags soaking on some all-purpose cleaner overnight. I decided I was gonna dip it in.

Now, those of youse who know me, know that I... amthegoddamn Batman.

So, pretty much very agaisn't killination on any level.

Knowing that I had to make this little animal cease to live was like a big bag of... Heavy things... On top of me. Which would make my back very uncomfortable to stand or walk or anything for that matter.

Anyway, I dipped Lizzie into the chemical water and it soon re-opened its eye and waddled its footie.

I could see its eye through the water as it slowly stopped moving and once again, closed its eye.

DON'T LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEE

Takin' a few moments to take in the whole "I just killed a little animal" thing in, I set it aside. Only to realize a few minutes later that it continued to squirm.

A small science intervention.

It occurred to me that lizards are warm blooded, so they sty out in the sunny sun, but don't do so well in the cooly cool.

Soooo... Having had the bucket stay overnight had made it really cool like.

So when Lizzie was dipped in, it kinda only went to sleep for a bit, not died.

Allow this diagram to show absolutely nothing:



ANYWAY!

I did not know what else to do.

I wanted to end it quickly and the first attempt had failed.

... So, hitting it with a blunt object was my next choice.

The only blunt object I could find was a rusty bastard:



That's what they are called, you bastards!

I mean the file, of course.

Anyway, I got the wide edge and hit Lizzie's head with it.

... Blood.

But it didn't die.

Poor little Lizzie took about 5 hits.

It's eyeballs popped, blood and guts burst out its mouth and it immediately pooped a big lizard poop.

I had the stink of death on me.

I washed everything with hot water and as I did, I noticed that the sticky stuff from the sticky trap began to break apart... Had I done the correct thing..?!

I cleaned everything and for the rest of the day I felt like a murderer. I have struck once, I can do it again!

So yeah.

Killing things, its like WHOA, its dead now.

I did not know if it was a he or a she. What if he went out to find food for its family? What it was some sort of coming-of-age trial that the lizards have? When is daddy coming home, mommy, I am getting hungry mommy, whens daddy coming home mommy..?

I'm just kinda scared that maybe Lizzie spat some lizard pheromone on me and it'll alert his kin that I'm dangerous or something.



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