Posted

Apr 15th 2008

I've noticed that I can just sit on the computer and do nothing for long periods of time. I'll look through the same websites, and fine nothing interesting. I mean, what's the point? I have all this stuff laying in front of me for me to become an amazing artist, and I'm not pursuing any of it, it seems like. Whenever I get on the computer, I just sit here.

I don't RP, so I don't escape from reality, I don't do any of that stuff any more. AIM seems kind of pointless, too, because it's the same people all the time, and we seem to talk about nothing any more. I love those people, but it gets tedious, sometimes.

I have so many things that I know I'll love, and they're all just sitting outside this computer. I have sewing projects I need to pursue, hundreds of art ideas and paintings and things sitting there, video games to play, things to clean, things to cook, projects for school to do, everything.

And yet I come home. I ignore my homework. I just sit on the computer. I can understand occasionally getting on and fucking around, but Sheezy Art seems like a system now. I joined originally to get feed back on my art, and I don't get any of that any more, it feels like.

I don't get feed back, and it's not like I'm making friends for life. Like, this is cool and all, but where is it taking me? With all the ideas I come up with related to the internet and stories and whatnot, it just seems like a burden; I can't get a firm grasp on it.

With my traditional art, I can. It's there. I can do it.

I guess what I'm saying in a nutshell is that if I randomly stop going online, you know why.

This isn't meant to be personal to anyone, it's just that this seems really pointless, and it's becoming more of an obsession and an addiction than a tool to learn.
It's about as productive as watching paint dry.

So yeah. Just thought I'd let you know, in case you randomly noticed I was gone for a while. This just isn't a priority any more, and it shouldn't be.