"De donde es?"
"Soy es mi madre."
- Posted
- Dec 24th 2007
- Mood
- Bad
- Music
- sfjk
i don't feel right. i just
don't. i think a major part of it is that i feel unloved. yes, to my good friends, i know you guys love me, and i can't tell you how much that means to me. but it isn't the kind of love i want. not the kind i need. i just want to feel like someone loves me more than anything, and that they think about me other than when we're talking, and other corny-sounding shit like that. i can't get my brain organized anymore. i can't really write, can't focus. i just don't feel
right. just all wrong.
ironsenshi Says:
This is something I can understand.
You may not want to believe that I've been through that, but I definately have.
It's a feeling thats definately hard to shake... I don't know how I did it other than just pushing through every day.
I myself for years wished I had someone like that, but it wasn't as intense. Then Dennis came along and it was gone, but after he left, it was stronger and more painful ever, and took a very very long time to go away.
Just wait for that love to come to you... if you seek it out, you'll get hurt. If you get obsessed with it, you and everyone around you will be pained. Though the love you have from your friends isn't what you want, you'll realize that that love is the most important love you have. Don't brush it off because right now it isn't what you want. Right now, you need to keep your friends close. Without them, this feeling would be a million times worse, because then you're completely alone.
Getting through this is gonna hurt, it's gonna be long, I won't lie to you. But it WILL pass. This I do promise you, and even if you don't know how much I know about this, you have to believe me, of all people that it WILL pass. Your thoughts will race, it may be hard to sleep, but you've gotta find your comfort places to push through. I survived because of music, find something that does that for you. Write music (music without vocals is sometimes a lot better than stuff with words). Draw stuff thats just colors and shapes... find an outlet. Learn something new, like html or css or how to play an instrument or something. Most of all, be with your friends, the ones who UNDERSTAND but aren't going through it as badly as you. Only the ones you trust, and only the ones that can empathize and aren't going to push you away. Be with these people as much as possible.
Good way to clear your head:
-Brand spankin new music. Stuff you haven't heard before. Or better yet, instrumental stuff.
-Draw shit for other people. ask what they want, and draw it. That way you can outlet yourself in something that has very little to do with you.
-(may or may not be good for you. i dunno) Play videogames. Play a game thats new, that you don't think will remind you of the feeling or remind you of anyone who would make you feel bad. Or, if you have a videogame that you play as a failsafe, do it. I know FFVII is like that for me, every hard time is countered with FFVII. in some cases you can have that same failsafe in music too.
I had something else legitamate to say but I forgot it and can't for the life of me remember.
Hang in there. It isn't impossible.
pur plec loud Says:
Sidney said what I would have liked to much better than I ever could. We DO understand what you're going through--most of us have been through something similar. Albeit not the same thing, but still. We're here for you if you need us. And definitely take Sidney's advice on clearing your head. I will add to that:
-Go crazy on a huge piece of paper with EVERY SINGLE ART MEDIUM YOU HAVE. Don't TRY to draw anything or even make it make sense--just let whatever it is flow out, even if it ends up totally abstract.
-Write emo poetry. Sounds gay and shit but I find it works sometimes.
-Cry as hard as you can. You might feel better after.
I'm here for you if you EVER EVER EVER EVER need me, REALLY, I am.
zombieplasticclock Says:
That's how I feel on Valentine's Day
I'm sorry, I don't think I can help out with this. Self-fufillment is WAY out of my league
PaleDragon Says:
Im sorry to hear that...
I wish I can help but I really cant do anything...
Ness Says:
=[ It's good you know that we do love you, but I know what you mean...
)
Someone out there already loves you as much as you need, whether they know it yet or not. (Bad sentance structure, but you're smart.
*hug*
Best of luck, hun.
Love you~