Posted

Dec 21st 2007

...

You said you would continue to spam me until I did one (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!) So fine. I will do one. But don't even BEGIN to think I will enjoy it.

1. Do you snore?
No. I find snoring aggrivating. Very much so.

2. Are you a lover or a fighter?
<grumpy old man>Love and quarrels! Bah! What dumb human passions!</grumpy old man>

3. What’s your worst fear?
Spiders. And Hermit Crabs. And Beetles. All of them....make me cringe...I have so many nightmares....about them.

I would like to point out the irony in me saying that though. I currently own a Hermit Crab, who I love very much.

4. As a kid, where you a lego maniac?
Hellz yeah. I made a turtle once. A big one. No seriously, it was huge.

5. What do you think of “reality” tv?
<grumpy old man>BAH! It is construing a false sense of realism! And the way that it is completely infecting our television programming (which already dominates modern America)is completely clouding our view of life! DOWN WITH THE MAN!</grumpy old man>

6. Do you chew on your straws?
Yes I do! They are so useless once you have finised your drink. So they deserve the fury of my teeth.

7. Were you a cute baby?
I had tiny legs. TINY legs. Is that relevant to the question at hand? Not really. I merely thought I would share that fact with you.

8. Is the single life for you?
Yes.

9. What colour is your keyboard?
A boring, drab, unoriginal grey.

10. Do your sing in the shower?
Always.

~Are you blind when you're born! Can you see in the dark? Dare you look at a king...~

11. Have you ever sky-dived before?
Oh! Fun fact. Besides creepy things with multiple legs, heights come in at a close second on the list of "things that horrify me so badly, that I want to scream until my lungs dissapate into nothingness".

12. Any secret talents?
I have REALLY strechy neck skin. (It's true!)

13. What’s your ideal vacation spot?
Hm. I am going to take this opportunity to make an obscene joke. "My favorite vacation spot is yo' mama! It's cheap, and there is lots of room!"

Ba dum pump chish!

14. Can you swim?
I absolutely love swimming! Second only to running. Octopi swim! And they are my favorite of all the animals in the world!

16. Have you seen the movie "Donnie Darko”?
I have heard of it. It sounds strange, and mildly boring.

17. Do you give a damn about the ozone?
The Ozone!?! THE OZONE?!

....

Yeah, it's time..

<grumpy old man>Back in my day all we had to worry about was the next meal we had to eat! We WORKED FOR OUR FOOD! Eh...what...? I'm sorry. My oldness got in the way of me remembering what the question was.</grumpy old man>

18. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Oh ho ho! I see what you did there lame survey! How esoteric of you! Only those who have seen that commercial will get it!

...

I tried once to find that magical number. I got bored, and threw it at my friend.

19. Can you sing the alphabet backwards?
I remember that old cereal Alphabits. They had a commercial where they began to sing the Alphabet backwards. I miss that cereal...

21. Are you a single child?
No, I have an awesome older sister. Her name is Megan. Why do I tell you this? Well, you are interested enough in me, oh proverbial reader, to view a seventy five question survey on me that you must LOVE little facts like that. (creepy reader...)

22. Do you prefer electronic or manual pencil sharpeners?
Yep. You just gave a comparison to old-timey things to new fangled things. What a splending opportunity to become...

<grumpy old man>The pencil sharpeners now-a-days represent the laziness of modern times! We had to WORK to sharpen our pencils, not get robotic pencil dohickeys to do it for us!</grumpy old man>

23. What’s your stand on hunting?
KILL EVERYTHING.

24. Is marriage in your future?
Now, what do you take me for!? SOME PSYCHIC?! How am I to know a thing like that! I could die tommorow for Pete's sake!

I must ask though, who is Pete? And why do we care about his sake!?

25. Do you like your handwriting?
Yes. It is small, edgey and AWESOME.

26. What are you allergic to?
Shrimp. Actually, I like drain my entire intestinal track through my mouth when I eat it!

27. When was the last time you said 'I love you'?
Probably to my parents recently.

28. Is Tupac still alive?
In the hearts of all who remember him. A.K.A. not me.

29. Do you cry at weddings?
Baw! How sweet! People found loove!

OBJECTION!

NOT SWEET!

<grumpy old man>Bah! Marriage is a fickle establishment that people ruin with their lustful ways!</grumpy old man>

In all seriousness, yeah. I have before. SHUT UP.

30. How do you like your eggs?
I don't. Like. Eggs. THEY CAME FROM THE VAGINA OF A CHICKEN!

31. Are blondes dumb?
No, silly. Hair color does not make one who they are! It is the soul my dear friend! THE SOUL.

32. Where does the other sock end up?
My dog Buddy loves to gather all of the socks in my room, and hide them in various nooks in my house. It isn't fun.

33. What time is it?
10:07



...


So where is the relevence?

34. Do you have a nickname?
I once was called Bacon. That is all.

35. Is McDonald's disgusting?
DOWN WITH THE MAN! DOWN WITH THE MAN AND HIS DISGUSTING ENTERPRISE THAT SHAMES WHAT WAS ONCE CALLED FRIENDLY AMERICA! MCDONALDS IS A PUTRID PERVERSION OF WHAT FINE EATERIES SHOULD BE! THERE IS NO CONNECTION, NO SOULD TO THE ESTABLISHMENT!

36. When was the last time you were in a car?
Earlier today. It was RAINING!

37. Do you prefer baths or showers?
Each have their own positive qualities.

38. Is Santa Claus real?
Santa Claus......is DEAD.

39. Do you like having you neck kissed?
Never had it happen, but probably not. That sounds disgusting. Mouths have no place there.

40. Are you afraid of the dark?
Uhm, well it all goes back to this nightmare I had. Ya' see, I had this dream that there was this midget alien sitting in the corner, but I could just BARELY see him, because it was dark and all. It doesn't sound bad, but here is why it was so terrifying: I have a complete and utter fear of all things Alieonic. It all stems from the movie Signs. Most people would argue that this move was not scary at all, but I would disagree! The aliens were small and horrifying to me. I couldn't sleep in my own room for WEEKS after it! Scary movies in general do not sit very well with me...though I do quite love them. I suppose I have a taste for poison, as they say. Wait, what was the question?

41. What are you addicted to?
Phoenix Wright, Zelda, Spider-Man, and yo' mama (I just can't keep myself off of her!)

42. Crunchy or creamy peanut butter?
First of all. BAHAHAHAHA! HAILEIGH IS ALLERGIC TO PEANUT BUTTER! HOW PATHETIC!

Second of all, creamy. Crunchy is just gross.

43. Can you crack your neck?
...

What? That's dumb.

44. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
No, I suppose I haven't.

...

Normally I would put a witty anecdote with that, but I just am not feeling up to it.

45. How many times have you brushed your teeth today?
Once...okay? FREAK!

46. Is drug free the way to be?
Of course not! Most humans, in the course of their life, HAVE to take medicinal drugs to stay healthy and alive!

...

You should have been more specific, badly crafted survey, not everyone will instantly interperet drugs as the narcotic kind.

47. Are you a heavy sleeper?
No. I wake up often, needing to check the bed for spiders.

(seriously, the fear plauges me)

48. What colour are your eyes?
Brown. The brown of a finely crafted, love filled, chocolate cake!

50. Do you like your life?
Bah. Never ask a teenager that, they will go into a monolouge of angst usually. But yeah, I like my life.

51. Who’s better: Stone Cold or The Rock?
The Rock. Simply because of his comedic, tragic, terrible talents at acting.

52. Are you psychic??
We have covered this. DO YOU NOT LISTEN TO ME! THAT'S IT WE ARE DONE!

YOU NEVER LOVED ME ANYWAYS!

53. Have you read "Catcher in the Rye"?
Yes. It was enjoyable...albeit a little confusing...

54. Do you play any instruments?
Only those tender stings in my throat!~

55. Have you ever stolen money?
Technically, yes.


(I saw Santa ringing a bell outside of Krogers! He didn't need it! So I killed him AND took his money! That fat slut...)

56. Can you snowboard?
Bah.

57. Do you like camping?
Naw

58. Do you snort when you laugh?
Eh, I have once or twice. What, are you gonna judge me on it punk?

59. Do you believe in magic?
After meeting Maximillian Galactica, I hope to goodness magic isn't real. :(

60. Are dogs a man’s best friend?
Dawww, yes.

61. You believe in divorce?
Yes. Which is why you need a good ATTORNEY!








...


I bet you were expecting an OBJECTION, weren't you?

62. Can you do the moonwalk?
Bah, leave that to the astronauts!

63. Do you make a lot of mistakes?
Of course I do!

64. Is it cold outside today?
Yes! Cold and rainy! A perfect day for MURDER.

65. What was the last thing you ate?
A Chik-fil-a sandwhich. It was DELICIOUS.


Dead. Chicken. Bahahaha.

66. Do you wear nail polish?
...
....

DOT DOT DOT.

Hellz no. What kind of question is that?

67. Have you ever been kissed?.
No. Touching...is just...gross.

68. What's the most annoying TV commercial?
That one with that guy. I HATE the way he talks!

69. Do you shop at American Eagle?
They have nice jeans and polos. AMERICA!

70. Favourite song at the moment?
NO music for me.

71. When was the last time you had sex?
Never. You sick freak.

72. Do you like your job?
I am currently unemployed, like a HOBO!

73. Do you like your classes in school?
Most, surprisingly.

74. How do you like your meat cooked?
*snicker**snicker*

YOU SAID MEAT!

75. Do you like these surveys.
Awwwww crap. I ended up enjoying it. DANG IT.