Posted

Jan 26th 2007

Mood

Annoyed

Music

The Title music from Donkey Kong Country. :)

It's true. First of all, look at Funky Kong. He's like the most peace-loving character in the series (WIKIPEDIA EVEN SAYS SO, SO IT MUST BE TRUE). He just surfs and shit and never seems to be angry. This is a picture of Funky Kong from Donkey Kong Country. See? See?



Ok, now take a look at Donkey Kong 64 where he's completely different. He's covered in camaflouge, has combat boots, and sells a bunch of guns to the characters.


What the fuck happened to Funky Kong between the 5 years from DKC to DK64? Now, the guy pratically wants you to blow the head off of every fucking Kremling that comes across your path.
Thank god they changed him back to normal (or so it seems that way from looking at some screenshots of DK Bongo Blast and Donkey Konga 3, which never made it to the US).

Let's see. What's next? Oh how about the ported Donkey Kong Country games on the GBA? I only bothered to buy the first one a couple years ago and it sucked compared to the SNES original. The Autosave feature was really unnecessary for the game. Especially seeing as how it only takes an hour and a half to maybe 2 hours to beat the game. The Kremlings sound like they're yelling "BLEH!" every time you jump on them, which gets annoying when you have to hear it everytime you kill someone, rather than that weak little yell they make in the original game. They also changed Candy's Save Point to some gay ass dance studio which serves a mini-game that plays like a Dance Dance Revolution clone, but it's pretty much impossible to be good at it because the controls just seemed off and it overall wasn't very fun at all. I would honestly have more fun stomping on the entire GBA like a dance pad than actually play the mini-game. I would prefer the Game Boy Color version of the game than this GBA bullshit. At least it felt somewhat like Donkey Kong Country should be, despite the fact that the graphics are reduced to 8-bit and the sound isn't as great, which I also should add is that the music and graphics were some of the things that made Donkey Kong Country popular during it's time back in 1994. On another note, I feel I should add is that the Game Boy Color version of the game came out in 2000, then the GBA version came out in 2003. Why would they even bother to re-re-release a game only 3 years later after the GBC version? I just don't see the point. One thing I'll admit I liked were the cut-scenes at the beginning and ending of the game which makes the story a little more clear.

Now, let's cut the bullshit and get to reason I even bothered to make this journal. Here's Tiny Kong from Donkey Kong 64.

HAHA, GET IT? THEY NAMED HER THAT BECAUSE SHE'S SMALL LOL.

But, in the upcoming remake for Diddy Kong Racing for the Nintendo DS, she isn't even Tiny anymore. LOOK AT THIS FOR GOD'S SAKE.


Like I said, she's not even Tiny Kong anymore. They might as well rename her Tall Skinny "I have an eating disorder" Kong. And she's supposed to be younger than Dixie Kong, too, but Dixie remains the same...well for the most part.


Sorry, if I sound like some little bitch who's complaining about how's it not 1994 anymore, but I just can't understand how the series came from awesome platformers to half-assed GBA ports and spin-off music games that like to slaughter the shit out of my hands every time I play it.

Oh well. Supposedly, they're putting Donkey Kong Country on the Virtual Console later this month (at least for us here in the US; it's already on the Virtual Console in every other country. You lucky sons of bitches.). So, do me a favor and download it. It I guarantee you'll love the game or at least like it. If you download it and dislike the game, then I will cut off a piece of my body and sent it to you through mail and even pay for the shipping and handling. WELL, NOT REALLY LOL. But, trust me, you'll love it. :)