Posted

Oct 4th 2006

Mood

Dreary

Music

"Into The Ocean" - Blue October

My nightmares seem to come more often these days
They get scarier and more realistic all the time
Last night's was something I see as a possibility
(if worse case scenarios were to come into play)
The girl in my nightmares; at first she wasn't herself
Now with every reoccuring dream-state she is more and more like the one I've come to love
Perhaps I should start writing these nightmares down?
In here...?
Not sure because I don't always like talking about them
But the last one keeps spinning around in my head
Though not as bad as previous nightmares it was certainly emotionally damaging
Made me wake in a very dreading state...
Dreading the faint (how faint is it really?) possibility
Not sure if she wants to take my hand
Which is why I question how faint it really is
Don't you always dread the scenario in a nightmare?
Afraid that it could possibly happen to you
Sometimes you get this crazy idea that it's a prediction
That you just dreamt of something that will happen sometime soon
So you get scared on the inside and let your imagination run wild

Just spent half an hour or so talking to Saree
We had a conversation about necropihlia back in the day
I miss our random talks...
Mmm..
I miss his random talks too
We've grown apart since that happened
Ever since I always check the number I'm sending a text to

Fate...if you're setting me up again...
Then...

So I'm moving back to California soon so I can get a job
Job = Money
Money = Living expenses
Living expenses = Seattle
Seattle = Fiance
Fiance= Top priority

Hopefully Disneyland will give me a job
So many options and all have some fantastic benefits/great pay
Night custodial sounds really nice
Work all night, sleep most of the day, talk to fiance for a few hours before I leave for work
No one wants those shifts either
(except for us insomniacs)
So my chances seem pretty decent
She's visiting me during winter break...
God I can't wait
September 20th I came home...
It's been much too long

Maybe I'll start writing in here like this more often
I question how many people will read and comment but I guess it doesn't matter
As long as eyes lay witness to it