Posted

Nov 28th 2004

Mood

Depressed

Music

Evanescence - Everybody's Fool

Dammit....last night I finally got to chat with Cinda and Shifty on MSN and got to see 'em both on webcam late at night at 11:30pm my time, but had to leave once it became 12:30am.

I was happy for the most part and the next day my mom took me to Kmart to pick up Mario 64 DS and WOULD'NT you freaking know it......my ex and some of her friends were at the enterance with their musical instuments accepting donations for high school...barefoot as well....My heart raced and I trembled when I left the car to say hi to her......she pretty much ignored me and kept talking to one of her friends, it'd figure anyway that she'd ignore me...-.- it's a matter of time before others do the same with me....I took out my wallet and left my only 5 bucks I had and got a thanks from one of my friends who happened to be her friend as well....I guess that 5 was a pathetic way to at least get some attention from her.........

Why do I torture myself like this...? Does my ex, Sevlow know how badly I took her dumping me without any warning..? In a strange way, regardless of what she did, I still have feelings for her.....I don't care if she stumbles upon my DA page, I at least want to let her know that....Worst thing was when I got home and had a friend over, he told me she was going out with her old crushes......a girl mind you -.- ......Fuck.....just when I was finally getting cheery, I HAD to bump into her again......GOD I wanna move out of this state and not see her again.....but then again, I at least want to be just friends with her....no matter how pathetic this sounds........I don't know anymore.......only thing I can hope for is at least Cinda's comfort.....and pray she won't leave me for no reason until I find out in the last minute.......