- Posted
- Jun 12th 2006
- Mood
- Lousy
- Music
- Nocturne- rainsong by BUCK-TICK
ya, i don't know and don't care how "contemplation" is spelled. the truth is, i've got a lot in my mind.
and it's upsetting. my brain hurts. and it's not a migraine or nothing.
:::::::::::::::::::NEWS:::::::::::::::::::::
i need to practice my colorguard skills. im rusty as a nail in the rain.
i wish i could be a part of something and yet i am.
alone, together. these words suck arse.
and Brad's something i don't even know how to describe. sometimes, i can't wait to talk, communicate..... then i freeze. and i don't remember why i'm talking.
i'm crazy and i think i like it.
Charlie's going to be here on saturday!!!!!!!! (*dances around like she has issues*)
divorce seems like a joke to me. yet i know it still hurts me. gut feeling. and i become my parents in a creepy way. i can't disown myself, 'cause of that.
and this Dan kid that pathetically asked me out a lOOnng time ago, (i mentioned in a previous journal disgusted); i actually dont hate him. i think i have a social problem. i feel sorry for him. i know what he was and is thinking. and i hate this way i act.
friendly, angry, quick, slow....... i must be on something.
when your parents drive you to practice and end the trip with, "ok, let's divorce, i'll get a lawyer. Diana, get out of the car," i feel that makes me cold. and i'm pretty much like ice.
i think Gackto's butt is kinda nice. not just 'cause he's attractive.
i need to hang with someone that i can trust. and obviously i'm not talking to myself about my problems anymore. that is what i've been doing.
and in no way is this a depressing journal. it's just a overlook.
and i don't expect any of you to understand this either. like Charlie said (jokingly), "you've got issues." and i think the crying isn't going to do much.
art will be up by july's 1st week. prepare for angst.
i have a new podcast epiy! it features this old and still going strong band, BUCK-TICK!~~~ i love that vocalist.
podcast: http://artiesjmusic.podomatic.com
nanidanides Says:
so anyone reading this is probably wondering wtf????
well i blog on my DA account. on SA, i just waste, er spend time looking at art, posting art. and that's basically it.
my DA journals are filled with crap about me. 'nuff said.
Inochi Yakusoku Says:
Blahh. Sounds like you aren't having the best time. I'm sorry ;o;
Hahahah
Relationships suck, yes. If that's what you were talking about. >.> And yeahhh I like Gackt a lot too.
But mehhh; Divorce? x_x Sorry!! I hope things start ta look up for yas