Posted

Nov 18th 2004

Mood

Dead

Music

She will be loved is...stuck in my head...against my will.

I can't believe this. 84 comments on my prev journal...and my mom came home a min ago. Decided to brighten my day by telling me the entire of 'missing or dead cats' list...i kept saying i didnt want to hear...she kept going...so i slammed the door. i felt like shit all day...and my so-called FRIEND [N] decides she cant deal with my mood, so we got into a yelling match...i ran out behind the school...then our other friend [H] followed me...i was sitting behind the school in fetal position, crying, and she put her arm around me...i guess i felt better, after we talked. but all day i felt numb. even when i laughed. just...when i get like that, i tend to push ppl away...i either dont talk, or explode at them...but H is kinda the only one who makes me feel better...my best friend M lives an ocean away...so when i'm like that if she visits she doesnt know what to do...w/o H i wouldnt know, either...i wish i wasnt so explodable...:headache: