Posted

Jan 21st 2006

Mood

Depressed

Music

"Lips of Ashes" - Porcupine Tree

So I came home and got the mail. The book I ordered a while ago came. It was a book on drawing tips and whatnot that I wanted to use on poses and shit that I'm terrible at.

After recreating one of the sample pics fairly well, i was walking out to get a drink with it, and my mom takes it.

"You know, I worry about you."
"Why?"
"You never draw anything else but this ching-chong-ding shit."
"Yeah, I do. You don't notice."
"You should do still lifes. THOSE are art."

That always makes me feel great. It's one thing to be insulted by someone who draws, and is sick of the generic anime bullshit. That makes sense, and I can respect that. But my own mom? I remember a time when she used to praise my stuff. She'd put it up in frames and show the neighbors and boast about how great she thought I was.

I should be proud of what I do. Even if it IS trite and boring... I shouldn't have to feel like a total loser anymore.
I went to the last class of art this semester, which was cleaning the room, and a C&C day on our art finals.

Mine was a series of 3, with the theme of self-portrait. I did a normal one, looked in the mirror and all that. Came out okay, I guess. Drew one of my favorite pens, and painted that. That was my favorite. Kinda plain, but okay. The last one was what I do better - my bullshit, as I've started referring to it as. The lineart was fucking beautiful, and I watercolored it. It was so damn smooth with no streaks... Just fucking gorgeous. I was actually really proud.

But this was after good 'ol mom gae me that rant. So when it came time for my C&C, the little bastards who couldn't even stick figure properly are kicking my chair and laughing, and I just wanted to melt away right there. The teacher was like, "So, this trio was done by Shannon. .... Next, we'll look at..." Then we made a big show of praising the other girl applying for art in college, saying how easy it would be for her, and that everyone should aspire to be JUST LIKE HER.

~choo-choo, all aboard the falure train~
NEXT STOP: McDONALDS!