Thousand Knives Hex : SheezyArt

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May 2008: Furry Survey and the Awesomeness of RMFC
January 2008: This Brawl is Experiencing Technical Difficulties
June 2007: Pokemon Pearl feels my Fury!!
April 2007: Patchwork Crumble
June 2006: IMPORTANT: please read (pwease?)
May 2006: Confiscation Tricky
April 2006: Cherry Blossom Deathstroke
March 2006: Scatter Recollection
February 2006: Indignation Judgment; Steadfast Warrior
January 2006: Mercy Arcane
December 2005: Finale Vehementi
November 2005: Clockwork Abyss
October 2005: Prismatic Shuffle
September 2005: Overcooked Phoenix
June 2005: Thousand Knives Hex
May 2005: Raging Hope; Blink Recovery Mode
March 2005: Downpour Revolver
January 2005: Jigsaw Devastation

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dragoncrescent: Thousand Knives Hex

Posted: Jun 18th 2005
Mood: Worthless
Music: In the End (Linkin Park)

About the 3rd day of April, I sort of cast a 'spell' on myself to practice more often by drawing the Seal of Orichalcos on the backside of both hands. Just before finishing the inscription, I bound myself to draw at least once per day (and the scribbles in my notebook didn't count). It sort of worked, but the spell was meant to last only one month.

I've just been in a total drawing slump this week. It really manifested itself today... I went on a road trip with CloudJP. We dropped by Best Buy, where we got hooked on a DK Jungle Beat kiosk. It's a fun game, but I suck at it. You should have seen Cloud, he picked up the game and mastered it almost instantly (Ouch, -1hp). I actually came in with a negative score (Ow, -1hp)! All goes to show I have no rhythm, no style (-1hp). Heheh,whenever we play Smash Bros for points based on score or style, I lose miserably (-1hp).

So anyways, he picks up a copy of the Star Wars Ep.III soundtrack and jams it out on the way home. Along the way, he points out to me just how intricately music is composed. He can detect emotion from the music, along with rhythm, beat, mood, etc. I was thoroughly impressed, especially since it just sounded like some grand, lofty music to me (-1hp). I can't believe how unreceptive to it I am (-1hp). Truly, music and art are a form of magic.
Then it hit me.
It hit me when Cloud mentions the beauty of the mountains and the landscape as we are driving down. I couldn't have cared less about the scenery. He has such a poet's soul, I wonder why he isn't an artist? I pieced it all together: the reason I'll never be any good is because I don't pick up on these little intricacies. It's always the little, indescibable things that make a drawing great, and everything I create looks the same anyways. (-5hp) Wouldn't it be so much easier to just give up, and stop pretending I can draw anything worthwhile (-10hp!), stop torturing myself? I am Aaron Max, perhaps I just wasn't cut out to draw (-10hp).
God, I lost so much will to draw today it's almost funny.
(Aaron has taken 31 hp damage.)

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