Fish vs Swords character

Everyone else is doing the Fish v Swords thing...
Club: http://clubs.sheezyart.com/FISH_vs_SWORDS/
Can't remember when I came up with being a Bartender for the war. Must have been before Dreadfish though. Now that the war's come back to be Fad of the Week, I'll try taking part.

Permission granted to use Kayn and the tavern in any way you like for the War, although I'd like both to have "safety nets". No killing Kayn off or taking over the tavern...
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Name: Kayn
Nicknames: Barkeep, Oiyu, Please-Don't-Shoot-Me-I'm-Sorry-For-Shouting-Oi-You
Allegiance: Neutral. Yes, another bleeding cold heart of neutrality...
Rank: Bartender
Age: Older than most of you whippersnappers
Skills: Bartending, Information Retrieval, Management, Heavy Weaponry, Bojutsu, DIY, Intimidation
Personality traits: Stoic, never afraid to use heavy weapons

After one exceptionally high-stakes battle between the Fish and the Sword factions, a rough line was drawn between the terratories. A large expanse of no-mans land over a desert that no one really seemed to want. After some time, scouts on both factions started to notice an ever increasing number of civilian trucks enter the desert and not return. The cargo of the convoys that were successfully ambushed contained wildly different cargo - ranging from timber and concrete, to fermenting kits.

Eventually, someone from each side was intrepid enough to follow one of the trucks to see where they were going. Before they found themselves unconcious on the other side of thier side's border, they remembered a large tunnel leading down into the earth, wide enough for tanks to drive down. Word eventually spread throughout both camps, and worried that the other side might be planning something diabolical (possibly involving giant moles with grenade launchers and hallitosis), they sent strike teams to the tunnel systems.

Both strike teams came back drunk. So did the strike teams they sent after that.

Kayn had been a very clever enterpreneur. Knowing full well that both sides would grow weary of patrolling the front of a vast desert, he scouted out a suitable location underneath the desert for an establishment that would cater to the entertainment needs of both factions. And an impressive site he found - directly below the border on the map in an abandoned missile silo. It wasn't long before each side was regularily finding that parts of thier forces were driving thier tanks, airships and war-mecha down the mile long tunnels to get to the only place that served a decent drink for miles around.

The atmosphere in the early days was exceptionally tense. Neither sides wanted to be in the same room as each other, and a "No Weapons Past The Blast Door" policy seemed difficult to enforce (although Kayn was always quick enough to stop potential bar fights occuring). Eventually, someone decided that they were "clever and tough enough" to oust Kayn from his strategically perfect location and claim the bar for thier own camp and organised a coup.

They were met by Kayn's simple, articulate defense system. Enough money had been pumped into the establishment from both sides for Kayn to finance a security system with more stun-lasers, cameras and gorrila sized robot guards than either side suspected. The nuclear missile centerpiece that everyone else had assumed was disarmed was the icing on the cake. Reminding everyone that the bar was neutral ground, after the dust settled from the (fortunately non-nuclear) chaos, Kayn has since kept to a policy of throwing each and every trouble maker out of the bar and forcing them a mile long walk back up the tunnels without thier vehicles (which are repossessed, and then recycled to become part of the tavern). Nowadays, most of the regulars to the bar will drag members of thier own factions away from potential confrontations

Kayn's bar "No Mans Land Tavern" is now set as a fairly secure "meeting place" when both sides wish to be off duty (it was exceptionally strange that all those other bars just closed down or "exploded" soon after Kayn's officially opened). Whilst in the bar there are a number of low walls and private rooms seperating the forces from each other (with the ornamental blades and plastic fish mounted on the walls making it very obvious which side people should be on), Kayn actively encourages each side to put aside thier differences and try to keep the war outside. It's also a popular destination for anyone who wants to arrange "business transactions" with neutral parties, and offers a fairly cheap bed and breakfast service for those who are too drunk to drive thier vehicles up the tunnels.

So far, business has been fairly good. But with the sudden introduction of a third and fourth faction, Kayn's having trouble keeping the bar seperate and intact - and he especially dreads the time someone on the other side's "Most Wanted" list enters. He's thinking of expanding past his hostile takeovers of other bars for the purpose of dismantling them, and is always ready to listen to a fantastic tale about the war.