Itachi Randomness

Itachi Randomness

Thuk thuk thuk thuk

I opened my eyes. It sounded like someone was bouncing something off the wall in the next room. They could die now%u2026

I held my head between my hands and rolled over, burying my face in the pillow. I was tired%u2026 I didn%u2019t want to deal with anything right now.

I had a massive headache. And the thunking wasn%u2019t helping matters in the least.

Even though my face was buried in the pillow, the smell of wet paint entered my nostrils.

I punched a hole through the pillow next to my head. It didn%u2019t make my headache go away, but it did give me a slight feeling of pleasure.

%u201CPatients are not allowed to damage hospital property.%u201D

I ignored the matronly voice and pulled the blanket over my head. The lady wasn%u2019t too pleased about this and yanked the blanket off, shoving me onto my side as she did so. I thought it an appropriate time to give her my Glare of Death. She seemed unfazed.

%u201CYou have a visitor, sir,%u201D she informed me curtly. %u201CDo try to behave yourself.%u201D

I said nothing, but continued to glare at her. Maybe if I glared hard enough, her hairspray would catch on fire.

She gave me a stern look and left the room. A moment later another woman entered the room.

She was tall and thin, perhaps 16 years old. She was dressed entirely in black from her calf-high boots to her high-necked shirt. Her hair was a very dark chocolate brown and reached her waist. It was bound tightly into a braid and bangs lightly tickled the bridge of her nose. Her eyes were hazel and rather large, giving her a friendly, open look. A shuriken holster was strapped to her right leg and she carried a quiver of arrows and a bow. A headband with the leaf emblem was slung casually around her neck.

She pulled out a chair and sat on it backwards, her arms resting on the chair%u2019s back. She watched me interestedly, placing her chin her hands. I transferred my glare to her. She remained unquelled by its ferocity. Maybe I was losing my touch%u2026

%u201CHello,%u201D she finally said.

I glared at her.

%u201CYour face is going to stick that way.%u201D

%u201CFeh.%u201D

She grinned. It was one of the most insolent grins I had ever seen. I wanted to launch myself at her and throttle her, it was that bad. But I behaved. Instead, I folded my arms across my chest and looked the other way.

It was silent for a few moments. Then:

%u201CIf I woke up in a hospital, I think I%u2019d ask how I got there. Actually, first I would thank my rescuer and ask her name. Then I would ask where I was.%u201D

I stared stubbornly at the wall. A hand waved in front of my face.

%u201CFine,%u201D I said stiffly, still not looking at her. %u201CWho are you?%u201D

%u201CAyame, Itachi-chan,%u201D she said cheerfully.

%u201CWhat did you call me?%u201D I snarled, and launched myself at her. A sudden pain in my leg caused me to fall to the floor, flat on my face.

Ayame looked down at me with amusement.

%u201CAnd that%u2019s why you are here.%u201D

I propped myself up and glared at her.

%u201CChan?%u201D I spat.

%u201CWell, you look like a girl.%u201D

%u201CI%u2019M A BOY! I%u2019M SEVENTEEN FREAKIN%u2019 YEARS OLD, SO DON%u2019T TELL ME I LOOK LIKE A CHAN!%u201D

%u201CYou really shouldn%u2019t yell like that,%u201D she said calmly. %u201CIt makes your face all red.%u201D

%u201CAND WHO SAID YOU COULD BE THAT FAMILIAR WITH ME? I AM YOUR SUPERIOR, YOU HEAR ME? YOUR SUPERIOR!%u201D

The nurse stuck her head in.

%u201CIs everything all right?%u201D she asked.

%u201COh yes,%u201D replied Ayame. %u201CMy superior is just having a temper tantrum.%u201D

%u201CI AM NOT HAVING A TEMPER TANTRUM!%u201D
%u201CI see, ma%u2019am. Would you be needing any tranquilizers?%u201D

%u201CNo, thank you. I think he%u2019ll calm down pretty soon.%u201D

%u201CLIKE HE%u2014%u201D

Ayame clamped a hand over my mouth.

%u201CNow, now,%u201D she said. %u201CLet%u2019s keep this %u2018G%u2019 rated.%u201D

I yanked her hand off.

%u201CWOULD SOMEBODY TELL ME WHY THE HECK I%u2019M DOING HERE WITH A HURT LEG AND A HEADACHE, AND WHY IT SMELLS LIKE PAINT?%u201D

Ayame made a %u2018tch%u2019 noise.

%u201CIt smells like paint because the hospital is doing renovations. And you%u2019re here because I brought you here.%u201D

I glared at her. Not like I hadn%u2019t been doing it for the last five minutes.

%u201CAND YOU DECIDED TO BRING ME TO A HOSPITAL, WHY? WHAT MADE YOU THINK I NEED YOUR HELP? I DON%u2019T NEED ANYONE%u2019S HELP!%u201D

She rolled her eyes.

%u201CMaybe because you were sitting in a pool of your own blood and were so delirious that you buried your face in my neck and called me %u2018Mommy%u2019?%u201D

%u201CYOU%u2019RE LYING! I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING SO DEGRADING!%u201D

%u201CBelieve it, Bub. And take down the decibel levels, would you?%u201D

I gingerly pulled myself back onto the hospital bed and snarled when Ayame held out her hand to help.

%u201CI will do whatever I freakin%u2019 well want to do.%u201D

%u201CApparently you wanted to be quieter.%u201D

%u201CShut up.%u201D

%u201CHow mature.%u201D

%u201CShut up now.%u201D

%u201CMy heart shivers in fear at your well-thought rebuke.%u201D

She stood up and grabbed her bow.

%u201CSee you later Itachi-chan. Try to get some rest.%u201D

She walked out of the room.

%u201CUCHIHA-SAMA!%u201D

%u201CIn your dreams, dude.%u201D

I hate it when they get the last word.