The Crucible...revised!

The Crucible...revised!

Grant K.
Ms. Kalin-Johnson
11-16-2004
Junior English

A Testing Crucible

A crucible is most often defined as a %u201Csevere test.%u201D This is only when a crucible is actually defined, though, because only a really rich, stuck-up Englishman still uses that word, and that%u2019s just ghey. In the book The Crucible by Arthur Miller, the character Mr. Proctor is put through a bunch of tests, and so is his underage girlfriend Abigail.
Mr. Proctor%u2019s first big test came when he had to sacrifice his good name in order to expose Abigail%u2019s lie. Apparently, calling someone a %u201Cwhore%u201D was a felony back then, and you couldn%u2019t say it without being driven out of town. What the hell? People say that word ten times a minute in today%u2019s music, and no one gets kicked out of anywhere. Except the PTA, and they don%u2019t count, because they suck. They banned me from their meetings because I sang %u201CStill%u201D by the Geto Boys at their karaoke party. Lame-os. I wish I could throw a smoke bomb through their window, but then the police would call me a terrorist and beat me. And damn police; always oppressing me, even when I tried to take a piss in the river. It%u2019s a river, it flows to the ocean, the ocean%u2019s big, who%u2019s gonna notice if I pee in it or not? Anyway, Mr. Proctor called someone a whore, and that was a test.
Proctor%u2019s ho, Abigail, also had a test: a test to keep the lie alive! Like when America landed on the moon, then didn%u2019t. Apparently, there was a flag waving in a nonexistent breeze or something, and people think that means it was fake. I think it%u2019s fake: if you look closely at one clip when they%u2019re golfing on the moon, you can see a lizard or something crawl by in the background. Or maybe it was a squirrel. Either way, it went by. And so the terrible secret was discovered: Abigail couldn%u2019t keep the lie alive! Legend has it, she ran away and became a prostitute %u2013 a prostitute with a heart of gold.
All that would seem to have something to do with the 50s, when everyone was a Communist. People were told to cover the back of their necks with their faces. Mother Russia gonna kill us all, that sort of thing. I%u2019m sure it meant something else back in the Pilgrims%u2019 time, but what do I know? I%u2019m just a simple sandwich man. In conclusion Mr. Proctor was a Communist. The end.