Drowning

by Retro Blue

in Completed Works

Drowning

Drowning in this sea of hate,
nothing I can do it's just my fate.
Reaching out to grasp my angel,
but in this hate my soul is mangled.

My confusion,
Aroused yet amusement.
My destruction,
it caused pain.
My sarrow sounds of athousand deaths.

Me and all my sin,
this is where my suffering shall end.
Drowning in this sea of hate,
it is now that I conceal my fate.

Description

Dec 2nd 2005
Tags:
Views:
80
Comments:
2
Score:
0
Favorites:
2
This one was written for some unknown reason...well..there was a reason I was depressed and i was knew at writing which explains why it sucks so much...lol...

Comments

WH Angel Says:

nothing I can do it's just my fate.

there should be a comma between do and it's. this sounds awesome otherwise.

Virangelus Says:

Hmm the first stanza is great! Then you break your flow and also break from your rhyming pattern. Now there are those freelance poems and truley poetry deserves no rules really... but sometimes it does the poem more justice to stick to the pattern to help maintain its rhythm. After all, "poem" is Latin rooted for "little song" (or is it Italian? I forgot)