Quick Sand

by LaunchSkylinne

in Completed Works

< I/You

Quick Sand

Time slipping quickly through grasping fingers drifts away
Dust marking Mans return to sand a little closer each day
Waiting patiently for death in a quagmire of excess
Seeking only the drug cocktail of pleasure to access
Self important, always self-absorbed
Impatient greed cannot be curbed
Relentlessly seeking illicit pleasure
Instant gratification is all they treasure
Love for others seems so passe these days when
There wouldn\'t be time to pleasure themselves then
What happened to \"Better that we give than recieve?\"
\"Got no time\" as sands of life pass through the cieve
Fulfillment they seek but cannot seem to find
Seek out only self and pay others no mind
Unhappily they hurt and still wonder why
Living for self until lonely and empty they die
Quick moving are the sands measuring time full of strife
As the greedy and selfish squander the sand of their life

Description

Aug 1st 2005
Tags:
greed pleasure quick sand time
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The first poem I wrote this weekend. Oddly enough I didn't start off writing this about anyone in particular, but when I was finished I noted a few people I know who fit this description well. But anyway, enjoy the piece and don't forget to leave a comment for a poor fellow.

Comments

Nivalis Says:

What a coincidence you wrote this while being with your relatives. I really don't understand your way of thinking! D:

...LOL.

You did an excellent job describing this, it's amazing how good you are at putting yourself in the place of others! Good job, as always!

randomoo Says:

Wowowow!

Wonderful vocabular you have here =) And you've got some great imagery.

Have you ever tried different punctuation and capitilization, though? Also, instead of one whole poem, you could break up lines and make stanzas. These things really help emphasize the strongest points in your poem =) Experimenting with these things is always tons of fun. Take advantage of your artistic license!!