This is where I jump?

This is where I jump?

I asked myself as I tightened the makeshift noose around my neck.
It'll go quick. I reassured myself that this in fact was the right thing, and it was the quickest way possible.

I hope I wont be missed.. Glancing down at the bare floor, and the wall that I had painted with my mom not even that long ago.
I pulled my shirt down, insecure.
Not that it really matters anyway.

I looked at the stuffed animal my Love had given me what seemed like a century ago. It sat there in its usual spot on my bed, its black, beady little eyes pleading.

What would He think if he saw me now? Would He stop me? Would He tell me that I'm crazy? Tell me that he loves me and that everything will be alright? Would he'd hold me in his arms and ask with a weary smile, 'How could you do this to me?' I stared at the door half expecting him to burst in and save me from this nightmare. Only in a dream would that happen.

I shifted my weight from foot to foot on the edge of the chair.
Maybe I won't even have to jump. My weight could just snap the chair and then I go.
I thought of my mother and father, and how brilliant they were to me. My brother, how obnoxious though dear to me.. My friends 'so called'.
What were they doing? I let my mind wander a bit more before I brought it back to reality.
"I love you.." I hope that somehow.. He heard it. I clenched my fists, took a deep breath...





..and stepped off.