Dear Baby Coop

Dear baby Coop,

One day you will grow up to be this loud mouth who thinks it's funny when people make fun of you. And you will start to hate your first name and force people to call you Cooper

You wont always be a short fat kid. You'll lose the weight. But not gain any height.

you poor short person you.

You will eventually learn that you have feelings for guys. BUT THAT'S OKAY. Cause that's why you start to lose the weight. c:

Oh, and your papa will randomly appear again in your life and ship you off to canada where you live happily (not really) for the rest of your life :I
So start making friends the moment you land.
Or start being as as obnoxious as you can be so everyone in school can't help but know who you are.
I did both.

I WOULD ALSO SUGGEST TO SKIP A GRADE SO YOU CAN GRADUATE WITH ALL YOUR BUDDIES. cause trust me.
it sucks to be the last one in highschool >:U

You won't always be the lonely virgin boy who sits in the back of the class sleeping c:
eventually you will infact actually care that y=x

On a more serious note. There is no reason why you should be as selfconcious as you are now. But you will learn to love yourself and have this ginormous ego fulled by all your internet fans