MAGIC FLYING SHIT

"WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!" the Head Barista shouted as he hurled the spent NO2 canisters into the air, focusing his will into tiny green aprons of energy to hold them suspended in the air, nearly a foot above his now motionless hand.
The gathered baristae were astonished, one of them managing to exclaim, "He's not using a wand!" The quiet turned to muffled whispers, the speculation aflame until the Head slowly allowed the canisters to return to his hand.
"At Rocky Hill, my friends, you too can learn.
The Steam-Wand is not all they taught you it was. I can teach you the New Way."


"THIS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IS A GENUINE STARBUCKS STEAM-WAND. IT IS FULLY LOADED AND 100% DANGEROUS. MASTER YOURSELF, AND YOU MAY ONE DAY MASTER THE STEAM-WAND, AND ALL OF ITS ABILITIES"
The eager young barista held his breath, staring intently at the lightly glistening wand, the light from the 80% recycled material fluorescents reflecting off its polished steel surface. He drew a breath and gasped out a question, "H-how do we master ourselves, Milord Schultz?"
"Simple. You must create the third place within yourself, to reflect the third place without. Only then may you achieve the legendary service required to master the Steam-Wand." At this, he turned and boarded his Segway, leaning forward to propel himself out of the hall. The District Sergeant blocked the line of sight, regaining the full attention of the gathered baristae.
"YOU MAGGOTS THINK YOU CAN EVER MASTER THE STEAM-WAND? MY GRANDMOTHER LEAKS BETTER SIGNATURE HOT CHOCOLATE OUT HER ASSHOLE THAN ANY THREE OF YOU COULD MIX. YOU WILL LEARN TO CREATE THE THIRD PLACE, BECAUSE I WILL TEACH YOU. I WILL TEACH YOU, OR I WILL GRIND YOU TRYING!"