Under One Roof Part 17
Under One Roof 17
While China lead Mike’s group to Mt. Steel, Zero did… something productive actually. He spent all his time puking money in his room till he passed out, but Zero was a smart one. He knew he would eventually pass out and so put a sticky note on himself and puked money into his now ‘sealed’ room from the hallway so anyone that came upstairs would notice him passed out and hopefully read the sticky note on him saying “If I’m unconscious, wake me up. It‘s time I do something productive.”
By now China just returned from Mt. Steel woke Zero up after going upstairs to take a leak.
“So, what’s this productive thing you’re talking about?” China asked as she fed Zero a Oran Berry.
“Get me a phone book and a phone.” Zero replied.
“Why?” China asked.
“It’s time we get Gecko and stop being cavemen.” Zero answered.
Well after Zero stopped evading the point and got into the atmosphere he wanted, he started discussing his suggestion with China. The atmosphere he wanted, being both of them sitting at the living room with a phone book and telephone nearby.
“So, what is it that you want Zero?” China asked.
“I want you to answer some questions. Firstly, do video game consoles exist in this world?” Zero asked.
“Yes.” China answered.
“Then why did you tell Mike they didn’t exist here?” Zero asked.
“Cause you two were making me mad and I wanted to make you two mad as well.” China answered.
“Second question, why is our base lightning related? I mean, both me and Mike liked it, yet Nell nor you felt anything. You can’t say it was pure coincidence.” Zero asked.
“It was the cheapest house Psyduck could find, I personally didn’t see anything wrong with it and it had some luxuries so I said, okay and the rest is history. Though I guess most people were turned down by the stale look of the house from outside. Just shows to not judge by looks, unless your dealing with Mike.” China answered.
“Good answer. Now for my third question, do you know of any good construction workers, maid services and people who can set up a good defense system?” Zero asked for the third time.
“No, I won’t answer that question, I’ll ask my own! Just what do you want?!” China asked.
“I want to spend the money I puked on stuff to make my life easier.” Zero answered.
“And you needed to ask me all those technology based questions to know how you can make your life easier?” China asked.
“I was just messing around the bush. Now for my point. Look, we’ve been getting allot of misery, agony and loss from Team MOFOS and our own issues and I tired of it. So I say, screw this, let’s upgrade this joint up.” Zero replied.
“…I am not going to pay the bills for this you know.” China replied, sighing afterwards.
“I know, but you know more stuff than I do. Like, the address of this house and stuff.” Zero replied.
Zero: Ah yes, Hello is this the Crappy Musicians guild?
???: Yes sir, now do you wanna buck?!
Zero: …Can you please pass the phone to someone that is not high?
???: Sure thing little man.
Zero: I’m in need of some self-defense and I acknowledge the power of music. So…
????: So you want me to send some of our guild over to guard your place?
????: The price is 350gp per member
Zero: Well that’s sorta cheap.
????: Trust me, we have our reasons
Zero: These members won’t ‘kill’ us by accident right?
????: No, we know where to aim and when.
Zero: Oh… well whatever. Just send me… hmm… you know what… I change my mind. You probably wouldn’t be much good for a defense mechanism. I’d like to recruit one of your members my good sir.
????: Whatever. Just name your species.
Zero: Eh… dude, I only played Pokemon firered and a little bit Diamond. Can you give me some hints?
????: Well what do you want?
Zero: A member that can stall people that want to murder me and yet still be a good addition to the guild.
????: …I’m just going to send a Whismur over
????: The bill will be 500 poke, now just tell me the name of your rescue team
Zero: Team Gaia Force.
????: Glad doing bussiness with ya.
Zero: Hello, is this the craftsmans guild?
???: Yes and who may I be speaking to?
Zero: Zero, Zero Hunter. The king of all bastards. And you?
???: Bob, Bob the builder and yes, yes we can build it now shut up.
Zero: I wasn’t even going to say that.
Bob: Well a lot of folks do.
Zero: Just what rank are you in the crafstman guild?
Bob: I’m pretty sure you are an idiot, so I’ll put it simply. I’m three ranks down from being leader.
Zero: And do you enjoy your work?
Bob: Sorta, but this rank gives ya to much work. It’s tiring and the bob joke, I swear, next guy I see that says that bob the builder joke, I am going to use my nail gun on them.
Zero: Hmmm… what about your pay?
Bob: Eh… 800poke monthly.
Zero: That’s… not a lot
Bob: There are A LOT of members here kid.
Zero: How many?
Bob: Over one thousand.
Zero: …Alright Bob I have a deal for you. I want you to join Team Gaia Force and I’ll pay you more than your guild pays you and you’ll have less work. Sure, you’ll have to build stuff and rebuild stuff but I’ll hire other workers to help with it, so you’ll have less work than you have now. And better of all, you won’t be dealing with complete retards. You’ll be dealing with some mofos though.
Bob: How much money are we talking about?
Zero: Hmm… does 1000 poke per two weeks sound fair?
Bob: It does.
Zero: So, will you be joining us?
Bob: Hmmm… yes, I think I will.
Zero: Great to have you aboard. Now I just have a question and a request to ask of you.
Bob: If it’s about the name, I’ll f***ing kill you.
Zero: Eh… I wanted to ask you what species you are.
Bob: Oh… well I’m a Hariayama I suppose.
Zero: Sweet. Now for my request. Well Bob, you see… our base came under attack and we need to have it upgraded. Namely, the rebuilding of a room into a safe room, some home security added and some more rooms added and even two more smaller houses near ours, a shack even.
Bob: And you know, that’s going to cost you a lot of money.
Zero: Name the price.
Bob: 5000 poke.
In Mt. Steel…
“Did you guys hear something?” Avon asked.
“Little help? Guys?” Mike asked, as he was mercilessly beaten by a digglet.
Back with the phone conversation.
Bob: Something wrong?
Zero: …I now know how Mike feels…
Bob: What does that mean, smart guy?
Zero: It means… that… I’m okay with it… but… do I have to pay it all now?
Bob: You have three days and if you don’t pay it in time, I’ll kill ya.
Zero: …If I die, I’m telling the ruler of whatever place I go to, to bring ya down with me…
Bob: A job’s a job, pay the price or get out.
Zero: …I’ll pay it… but I hope the security systems you add are strong enough to deal with a True Shiny… If they aren’t, I want a refund.
Bob: Off course, that’s why it’s to expensive. Cause it’s quality like ya know. It’s true shiny proof, and even idiot proof.
Zero: I hope you’re right… Well, I got nothing more to say. Get the job done and I’ll see what I can do about the bill…
Bob: The bill is 10000k and you still need to pay me 1000k every two weeks for my employment in your clan.
Somewhere in Temporal Tower…
Back in Team Gaia Force’s base…
“Are you okay?” China asked.
Zero’s answer, was no. But he was shocked by how much money he was going to have to pay for some improvements. He should have been sucking his thumb when he hanged up the phone. But wasn’t for some odd miracle. What was more amazing was that he was willing to call one more person…
Zero: …Is this…. The… maid service thing?
???: Yes my good sir or madam, you’re talking to Lady Joselyn
Zero: Whatever. I just want a maid to clean the house up and stuff. If it’s cheaper, just send me a recruit and some other crap.
Lady Joselyn: A recruit? You mean, to sell one of our younger maids to you?
Zero: Well yes. The Crappy musicians guild and craftsman guild do it, so why can’t you?
Lady Joselyn: But… but…
Zero: Look lady, I’m on the verge of having a mental breakdown. Just give me a yes or a no.
Lady Joselyn: But everyone here is like a big family. We can’t simply sell one of our own.
Zero: Sell? You are just giving her a new home and gaining some benefit out of it.
Lady Joselyn: …
Zero: …Just how do you get money to pay the bills?
Lady Joselyn: We train the young ones here and the older ones do the work for a fee.
Zero: Yeah well, I don’t wanna spend that much money, so I’ll take what I can get.
Lady Joselyn: Hmmm…
The sound of glass breaking was then heard in the background, on lady joselyn’s side…
Lady Joselyn: Oh great… there goes another expensive item…
Zero: Sounds like you have a flawed maid. Care to send her to me?
Lady Joselyn: Hmmm?! Why would you be interested in Lady Layla?
Zero: Cause you don’t want to cooperate with me, so I’ll take what I can and this layla seems to be what I can take.
Lady Joselyn: …
Zero: Alright fine. Send her to me and I’ll add a bonus. This bonus is that well… hmm… how do I explain it. The rescue team I belong too has a ralts in it and if I know your kind, then you just love to nag and make people better, and all that stuff. You like to be strict, yell and improve when you are training someone. So how about I force him over there for your enjoyment every Saturday till he evolves?
Lady Joselyn: That’s a deal I cannot refuse my good sir.
Zero: Now… just send me this Layla over and I’ll what I can do about the sacrifice. A question though. How bad will these sessions be and for how long?
Lady Joselyn: Five star horror for five hours of wishing he was never born. She’ll become the greatest bride/maid she can be.
Zero: Wait, maid? But this is a male ralts.
Lady Joselyn: Didn’t you know? While ralts can evolve into a male third form, the stone needed to allow such evolution is so rare, it makes finding the holy grail easy.
Zero: So basically… male ralts are… fubar and might as well call themselves girls?
Lady Joselyn: Pretty much.
Zero: Marcus is going to be SO mad when he hears that…
Lady Joselyn: Well shall we go over the contract?
Zero: Wait a contract? Come on lady, don’t go overboard.
Lady Joselyn: But I must.
Zero: If so, then I MUST demand you send me another maid aside from this Layla.
Lady Joselyn: Six hours with the boy and done.
Lady Joselyn: Now for the contract. You…
Zero: Zero, Zero Hunter of Team Gaia Force. Otherwise known as the king of all bastards.
Lady Joselyn: Ah. Well you Zero Hunter agree to send me this ralts every Saturday of every week for a year for six hours of strict training in return, I Lady Joselyn shall send over maid-in-training, Layla and official maid, April to live in your house and.
Zero: Change that to Join our clan or rescue team.
Lady Joselyn: Seven hours.
Zero: No… I gotta not be selfish with this… I’ll go with Marcus and tolerate you for half an hour.
Lady Joselyn: Deal. Now let’s try you again. Well you Zero Hunter agree to send me this ralts every Saturday of every week for a year for six hours of strict training along with you yourself coming with him and taking the same training as him for half an hour and in return, I Lady Joselyn shall send over maid-in-training, Layla and official maid, April to live in your house and join your rescue team.
Zero: Yes, that’s right.
Lady Joselyn: Then we have a deal. I’ll be sure to have April send over the papers you need to sign and after that, it will all be official.
Zero: For any reason, are there any shinies in your organization.
Lady Joselyn: No, why ask my good sir?
Zero: Just checking…