Can You See Past the Sky?

Can You See Past the Sky?

Even though it was hot as hell today, I waited for you in the hot sun at the carnival.
When it finally came to me that you decided you had something better to do that day than keep your promise to me, I wandered off in search of how to make the ten dollars I spent to get into this place worth it. It seems that even though the lines are long, the food smells terrible, and the only drink you can find is loaded with sugar, people still flock here on hot summer days just to waste it waiting in the sun.
When I did manage to get to the front of a line, I purchased a $3.00 water bottle that only pushed my thirst back for about twenty minutes. It was icy, a great contrast to that of the sizzling afternoon. It was days like these that I wish I didn't have longish black hair. Maybe I should have worn a cap, something to keep my hair from soaking in that relentless sunlight.
My eyes began to scan the scene and pick out people, the ones that looked ugly, pretty, handsome, childish, yea I was a little judgmental but I'm sure that the boy standing near the ferris wheel surely isn't doing the same. Does he think I'm blind? I can see him staring straight at me, either checking me out or deciding whether or not I'm a drug dealer. He had a face about him, like he needed a fix. While he looked calm and collected on the outside, I imagined his brain constantly ticking like a time bomb until he can get his next fix.
Again, thats probably totally off, but it's what I felt like labeling him as. A druggie. Someone on the darker side of life. Somewhere I am just completely terrified to go to. I'd talk the talk but never walk the walk.
Its much too scary, independent, shady.
I couldn't possibly do it.
He kept looking at me like he wanted to come over to me, talk to me, laugh with me, do something with me.
I soon got tired of looking at his dirty shoes, ripped jeans, shirt swung over his shoulder, muscles bulging, and red hair. That seemed so weird for his tanned skin, I'd have thought he should have blond or brown hair. Don't red heads usually burn? By now, I'm surprised he hasn't realized I've been checking him out for the past few minutes. Yea, he's hot. Freckles and all.
I decided that I was beginning to get really hot again. I walked in the opposite direction to get to the water fountain. I filled my water bottle up with as much as I dared to drink of this city's water. I turned around to make my way back to the eating area, and there he was making his way towards the same place I was at. Coincidence? Probably. Not. I did what any normal person would have done, carried on. He came up to me and began to talk to me like he'd known me all his life.

“It's hot out today, isn't it. Seems to be the hottest day of the year. Don't you think?”he sounded cool, relaxed, awesome.
I really couldn't get over it.
You know what I did?
I shrugged my shoulders.
Maybe he thought I was too cool to talk, or maybe he thought I was just a dumb ass. Whatever he thought, he kept to himself.
“Let's get into the shade. Let's talk. Catch up.” he put his arms around my shoulders in a boyish way. “Man to man, I have to say. You staring at me was kind of creepy. What's wrong? I do something to offend you?” he just kept rattling on. He was the original Chatty Cathy, I swear.
I finally opened my mouth and replied, “ You were staring too, looking at me like a hungry dog. Did you see something you liked?” I raised my eyebrow with a smile on my face as I looked to him and took a sip of my water bottle. How daring of me.
Well that shut him up, for like two seconds.
“I see, not afraid of me eh?” He paused and gave me another look.
We made it.
Finally.
It was like a hundred feet away and it felt like a hundred hours past with this guy just yapping on and on. I sat down and he had to sit right next to me. His elbows were rested on his knees and his hands were folded. The more I looked at him the more appealing he was to me. The bad ass guy with the cool hair and the awesome body. He looked back to me and raised his eyebrows.
“What's with all the staring? Thought we were done with that. Over it you know?” he tilted his head and leaned back in the chair. “You into me? I'm not feelin' you too much. You know? The black hair, tight clothes. Though, I suppose you've got a fit body, let me see those abs of yours.” he reached for my shirt and I quickly slapped his hand away. I took another sip of my water and slapped his hand away again. He looked frustrated at me. “What?”
“Don't touch me.” I concluded. I ran a hand through my hair, it slicked back because I was sweating so much. I felt much cooler, must have looked it too. I felt it you know. Great, he's starting to sink in.
“I see.” With that he pulled on my collar and I could only oblige by getting up and following wherever he was taking me. It was secluded. He must have a gun. Yea, I'm dead. Totally dead. We're going to the most secluded part in the whole park. Oh well, at least I'll go by someone who I don't know. That's a plus right? “You a shy little sucker?” He tilted his head as he asked this question and got close, uncomfortably close. His arm separated me from the carnival. It was some barrier.
Again, I shrugged.
He smiled at me and his hands found their way onto my body.
Great, I'm getting felt up by a hot guy. Wait, thats good right?
I had never done anything like this before. I wonder what my girlfriend will think of this, that is if we're still going out after today. I guess I hadn't ever really rejected the idea of guys. Why were these thoughts running through my head as I was getting felt up by this red head? Why was I so nonchalant about this?!
I pushed him back.
He pushed me back.
I pushed him again.
He ground into me.
I moaned. My mistake.
He must have taken that as a cue to keep going. His hot fingertips slid across my sweaty front. No, I don't have a six pack, my muscles don't bulge, but I'm not fat either. I should stop him, but I don't think I have the strength to. Not to mention, my body is enjoying it. Stupid body.
Finally, I can break free. I slid from underneath him and stared at him. I was all hot and heavy. He was ready to take me on. I don't know what prompted me to, but I began to run. I just flat out turned and began to run towards the river. The grass was lush there, there was water there, maybe he'd follow me. Maybe I wont get caught there. But maybe I will. I think there was a bad side to me that day, to partake in something I've never even thought I'd be doing. I think I wanted to be caught.
He did follow me.
He followed me the entire way. It had to of been a mile and a half...had to have been.
I think I tripped, but I picked myself right back up. Hah. Take that. I wished he stopped following me. He was a bad influence. Pushed me to think these things. But he didn't. His red hair just flopped about. It was almost as if he were hunting me. Yea. I think I just wanted that in my mind.
I made it to the bridge, ran straight for the wall hoping it would stop my momentum. It did. Harshly. He did too, only he was a bit more graceful about it.
“What was that all about? Try to get away from me? Impossible.” he said. His breath was sporadic, I don't know why I expected him to have control over it. I think I had already implanted him in my mind as the never faulty cool guy.
I kept my mouth gaping open as I tried to get my breath back. I looked down to the shadows of the bridge. I looked to the grass. I looked to the clear water. I looked back to him. He recovered. He had endurance. I was weak. He sure wasn't.
He pinned me tight against the shadowed wall. It was cool. Very cool. Yes.
His face got close. Very close. Once again with the popping of my bubble. Maybe of the chary of my very existence. Maybe it'll break me. I hope so.
“Oh, you want it do you? Goodness. Here I thought you were some timid black-headed-trend-follower. You know?” He slowly closed in like a vampire on a fresh nape of the neck. His kiss stung. Yea. It stung like when you cut your finger on something, paper, a knife, anything sharp. It was intoxicating. “Wow, You sure do melt easily.”
He pressed me further into the bridge. The cold concrete began to match the heat of my body from running. I ran so fast. He's moving so fast. Faster.
I must be a bad person. Or maybe it's the people around me that pushed me to this. I think I wanted to act out. Be defiant. Be a Nonconformist. Different. Yea.
I pushed.
He pushed back.
I pushed.
He kept me down. I couldn't budge.
Hurry up already.
I could tell he was doing it for the attention. He liked the control. He had it. He had all of it. He pulled his face from my neck, hickies all up it. Dammit. Evidence. Oh well.
Mayday.
“You want this?” He asked menacingly.
Captain!
I shrugged yet again. He drew closer. I didn't even flinch. I kept my cool. Yea. I'm cool.
Going down!
His lips pressed against mine in a lust I couldn't describe to you. It was hot. Probably the best kiss of my life. I think what made it even better was when he was finished with me. I was in a daze. He pulled away to marvel at what he had done. I looked over his shoulder and could see my blond-haired-green-eyed-bitch of a girlfriend. She stared at me. She stared long and hard.
For once, I was the one rejecting. Not being rejected.
I peered over his shoulder with the pleasure of being caught, caught by her, and paused to look too. Long and hard. I hid behind him a little, watched her throw her purse to the floor. Man, I hope something broke. I think something did. I know we did.
She stomped off. I never heard from her again, you know.

“Wow, What a hottie...You lucky little shit. You let her get away?”
“You can have her.”
He looked to me with a raised eyebrow. “Giving her up? She must be defective.”
“Down to her very core...”
“You couldn't look past it? She is hot.”
“...Can you look past the sky?”
“What do you mean.”
I shook my head and pushed him away from me.
“There are just somethings you can't look past. Like the sky, You know?”

I left him with his mouth gaping open. His hand rested against the wall of the bridge. The only time in my life that I was cool, and it had to be because I was caught red handed. It felt good.