The Mind - 1st Floor

by JelmerBV

in Literature

The Mind - 1st Floor

All we ever lived for was gone...
'That should do it...'
"Are you serious? That same bullshit, AGAIN?!"
'What do you mean?'
"Come on! You know what I mean!"
'...'
"Just write something original!"
'I'm trying!'
"No you're not! It has to come from your heart, just say what you want to say!"
'I can't'
"No. You just don't want to tell it!"
'Please, don't start again about this!'
"I'll continue to say this until you told that person."
'But... What if...'
"No! And your poem still sucks! So finish it!"
'But... Pete liked it...'
"He just said that to get rid of you."
'Ok... Ok...'
I wish you could look into my mind to read this poem like it should be.
'Ok? Satisfied now?'
"Well... Actually, this does fit. I would say it's ok for now."
'Ok, bye then, I'll see you later!'


"Back again?"
'Yes, I remembered something...'
"Ok. What is it?"
'I thought... Maybe that dream has something to do with it...'
"You should relax!"
'I can't Nothing will happen when I don't do something.'
"Just go to bed! Relax!"
'I... I can't... I can't do a thing...'
"Yes you can go to bed. Just stick to your plan."
'You're sure...?'
"Yes, you should act on the New day."
'... I guess you're right.'
"Just go to bed now; relax..."
'...'
...
> 'Smiling Devil' by JelmerBV

Description

Aug 29th 2008
Tags:
- fantasy floor human nature mind mystery st
Views:
55
Comments:
1
Score:
2
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[Sorry for not being very active lately... (You know... School...)]

I didn't finished those name thingies yet, but this came just randomly into my mind.
Probably more (in different art-styles I think) to follow.

Stay tuned.
Rock 'nd Roll
Have a nice day!

P.S. If you can figure out all of the themes inside this... writing. (I don't even know sure how many are in it xD) You'll get a -virtual- cookie! (Oh... And a reuqest if you want :P Just give it a try if you've some time ^^)

Comments

Smiling Devil Says:

I think it's good, you did a great job with the interpunction^^. You can think about throwing in some actions to make it more clear what they are doing besides talking, anyway, I like it. Too bad that the rest of sheezy doesn't like any written things.