a FULL scrubs script....how exciting :D

a FULL scrubs script....how exciting :D

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN
So, this is how the magic happens. The episode is first listened to, to get the dialogue.... After that, the work begins: watching the episode and taking the time to type out all that is seen.
If you've already seen the episode and are only interested in quotes, this may be all you need. If you have yet to see the episode, and are counting on a detailed account of what happened, you may be better served waiting until the transcript is complete.
This Is A Draft!
Because I'm going by sound, some lines may be attributed to the wrong people. There may be typos. There may be some missed and/or misheard words. These will be corrected to the best of my ability when the transcript goes through its final edit.
Enjoy!

**EDIT** I, the pain of the US (my SA alias), have revised and edited this script, by comparing it side by side with the episode to get accurate (or as close to accurate) notes on character reactions, camera work, etc.
***********************************************************************
'Scrubs' 2.02 "My Nightingale"
Transcript - Dialogue Draft by Michelle V.L. M.

Edited and finished by: a random stranger (the pain of the US)



Admissions Area
[Very close shot of someone’s foot, and what appears to be JD’s hair in the background]
Janitor: Argh.
J.D.: There. Just a tiny splinter! [Janitor is revealed to be sitting in a chair, while JD is sitting on the floor removing a splinter from his foot. JD is also wearing magnifying goggles that make him look extra nerdy...as if that is possible] It's funny; I can't stop thinking about Aesop's Fables -- you know, the one where the--the lion's always hassling the little mouse...but then the mouse pulls a thorn from his paw.
Janitor: Oh, right.... But then the lion kills him anyway. [Laughs] Yeah.
J.D.: No he doesn't.
Janitor: Trust me.
[Dr. Cox quickly walks into admissions]
Dr. Cox: Sandy, whatta ya say we start our work day.
J.D.: You know, "Sandy" isn't necessarily a girls' name.
Dr. Cox: It's short for "Sandra".
J.D.: Clear.
[Jordan walks up.]
Jordan: Hello, Perry.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Oh, God. The ex-wife.
Dr. Cox: Jordan. What a coincidence! You were in my dream last night. I can't say for certain, but I was having the flesh torn from my bones by a cross-eyed water snake -- you, right?
Jordan: Yes.
Dr. Cox: Right?
Jordan: Yeah.
Dr. Cox: Right?
Jordan: Mm-hmm. [Laughs] Say, let's play a game: I'll throw out an adjective describing how one of you is in bed, and you guys try to guess who it is!
J.D.: Remember, I had no idea she was your ex at the time.
Dr. Cox: Heh? [Holds his hand up, signaling JD to shut it.]
Jordan: Okay. Clumsy!
Dr. Cox: Don't answer that, Newbie.
J.D.: No worries.
[JD leans up against a wheeled cart and, needless to say, it rolls away from him causing him to fall to the floor.]
Dr. Cox: Goodbye, Jordan. Sandy. [He walks over JD kicking him in the side]
J.D.: Ow!
Jordan: Good job, D.J.
J.D.:[flustered, and rising off of the floor] You know, it's J.D. Okay? And at least I remember the names of all my sexual partners.
Jordan: Well, I'm sure that girl from high school and your bunk-mate from Camp Morning Wood are both extremely grateful. Yeah. [Walks off]
J.D.: [to himself, but out loud.] It was Camp Meadow Wood. ...I made a lanyard.
~*~
“EXTENDED” OPENING THEME
COMMERCIAL
~*~
Hall- [JD and Elliot are quickly walking somewhere, with a look of excitement on their face]
J.D.'s Narration: It sounds insensitive, but hospitals can be kind of boring. So if a policeman gets into an accident with the bad guy he's chasing, well, it pumps ya up!
Cut to...
Patient's Room
J.D.: Okay, move it along, fellas, there's nothing to see here. [Cops silently stare at him]...I'll be over here.
Carla: Officer Berson was admitted with shortness of breath and chest pain.
Elliot: Hey, J.D., do you think anyone else gets this excited over a car accident?
***Fantasy Sequence
[A man and his dog are dancing in a parking lot in front of a blue tow-truck with the sign Hank’s Towing on the door]
****
J.D.: Maybe Hank.... [Elliot looks confused]
J.D.'s Narration: We weren't the only ones psyched to be in the game.
Cut to...
The OR
Turk: The doctor is in. Bad guy, this is why you don't run from the po-lice! [To a nurse] Baby, are you ready to rock?
Nurse: Great. Another cocky resident that wants to start surgery before the attending shows up.
Turk: I'm sorry; I just figured that if we finished here quick enough, we might have enough time to pull the stick outta your ass. Whatta you say?
Cut to...
Hall
Dr. Kelso: Perry.
Dr. Cox:[drawing it out] Beeeeelzebob, [to Ted] Lackey!
Ted: Hey, Dr. Cox.
Dr. Kelso: I'm being honored tonight by the board of trustees, and they asked me to say a few words.
Dr. Cox: Oh! Yawn.
Dr. Kelso: Anyway, I would like you to be the one who introduces me.
Dr. Cox: Wow. Seriously?
Dr. Kelso: Yeah!
Dr. Cox: Not interested.
Dr. Kelso: I didn't ask if you were interested.
Dr. Cox: Bob, I deeply dislike you. Honestly, it keeps me up at night.
Dr. Kelso: Well, then, use that passion! Put that rage on the page!
Dr. Cox: Here's an idea: Why not use Big Chief Flop-Sweat, here?
Dr. Kelso: Ted's not an impressive man. [walks off]
Ted: Hey....! That--- Ah, he's right.
Dr. Cox: Okay. [Pats Ted’s arm and walks off]
~*~
Patient's Room
Elliot: Officer Berson, you have a slight arrhythmia, so Dr. Dorian and I are going to monitor you very closely.
J.D.: But don't worry, we're on top of it, okay?
J.D.'s Thoughts: There's nothing like that feeling of really taking charge of a situation.
[Dr. Cox barges in]
Dr. Cox: Mary. Rhoda. Chart, please.
Dr. Cox: What'd I stutter? Gimme the chart.[Elliot hands it to him] Atta girl. Ooh...Man. I don't like his 0-2 set. [to Elliot] Grab me a doughnut, will ya?
Elliot: Oh, you mean like a--um--a blood-pressure thingie?
Dr. Cox: I mean like a glazed thingie. And I like sprinkles on half of it; so if you can't find a half sprinkled, get me all sprinkles and just go ahead and pick half of 'em off. [Whistles]
J.D.: You know that was...kind of demeaning.
Dr. Cox: You know, you're right. Would you do me a favor and apologize to her while you get me some coffee. And please be quick, otherwise I'm just gonna have the manager send over a different waitress. Go. You're done now. Yeah.
J.D.'s Narration: The frustrating thing was, down in the OR, Turk was probably running the show.
Cut to...
The OR
[Turk is revealed to be holding up a leg with both of his hands]
Dr. Wen: Steady, Dr. Turk; only about two more hours.
Turk: [to the surgical nurse from earlier] could you scratch my nose, please.
Nurse: No. I can scratch _my_ nose. [She does so.] Oh, that feels good.
Turk: Yeah. [Turk then, disgusted, scratches his nose with the big toe of the leg he’s propping up.]
~*~
Hall
Dr. Kelso: Miss Sullivan, I just want to thank you and the rest of the board for giving me this award. The fact that your first choice passed away last weekend in no way makes it any less special.
Jordan: Are you sure? 'Cause it seems like it does.
Dr. Cox: Hey, Bob. As far as the whole intro thing goes, I've actually gone ahead and given it a lot of thought, but I'm afraid I'm gonna very politely have to tell you to blow it out your ass.
Dr. Kelso: [laughs] I think we both understand how this works. It's like when my dog Baxter goes winkle on the carpet: He always heads right straight away from the tool shed, but we both know that's where he's gonna spend the night.
Jordan: Charming story.
Dr. Cox: Yeah. The fact of the matter is, I kinda make it a rule never to get in bed with people that I have nothing but contempt for.
Cut to...
Darkened Empty Patient's Room, Dr. Cox and Jordan are....well....I’ll let you fill in the blank
Jordan. Mmm.
Dr. Cox: Oh.
Jordan: That feels gooood, J.D.
Dr. Cox: [spins Jordan around so her back is against the wall] You'll now pay for that.
Jordan: God, I hope so.
~CUT TO~
Cafeteria
Elliot: [sadly] you guys, we're residents now. We're supposed to have more responsibility, you know?
Turk: [still disgusted from earlier] I scratched my nose with Bad Guy's toe.
J.D.: I think we just have to accept the fact that we're the most under-appreciated people at this hospital.
Carla: [sarcastic] Oh, Bambi, I really feel for you.
J.D.: Thank you!
Turk: She doesn't.
Carla: J.D., I spend most of my time here getting orders barked at me by people who take credit for my work and blame me for their mistakes. And all the while, I'm expected to hold the doctor's hand. You should try trading places with me for one day.
***Fantasy Sequence:
J.D.: [wearing pink scrubs and holding the top up slightly, revealing he is also wearing a black lace thong] It’s actually not that bad. And the lace feels soft against my package.
****
J.D.'s Thoughts: Nah.
~*~
Outside the Empty Patient's Room
Dr. Cox: Well, I'm glad we finally had a chance to, uh, talk.
Jordan: You and me, both. I mean, I haven't had anyone to _talk_ to lately.
Dr. Cox: Whoa-Kay.
Jordan: But boy, you sure do talk fast.
Dr. Cox: Bye-bye!
Jordan: Next time we talk, maybe I could finish a sentence or two.
Carla: [sing-song] You still like her.
Dr. Cox: Why, because we had a conversation in an empty room?
Carla: That room's not empty.
{Alarming music raises as Dr. Cox looks back to see a patient looking out at Dr. Cox, smiling weirdly. Carla giggles.}
Dr. Cox: Listen, girlfriend, I don't wanna hear your misguided romantic notions. You see, for me, sex is a sport -- like racquet-ball: You play hard for a half an hour, work up a sweat, and hope you don't get hit in the eye.
Carla: Say what you want, I know you care about her. In fact, I bet that after you two are done playing racquet-ball or talking or whatever you crazy kids are calling it, you'd like nothing better than to just lie there and pass the time by watching her sleep.
Dr. Cox: Carla, it's impossible to actually lie next to Jordan, seeing as she sleeps hanging upside-down from the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.
Carla: That's nice.
~*~
ICU
Janitor: Hey. I thought about what you said, and you're right -- I owe you...so, I got you a date tonight.
J.D.: Who?
Janitor: Tim. [Camera pans over to a shot of an effeminin looking guy standing next to the nurse’s station counter]
J.D.: I'm not gay.
Janitor: Huh? Oh! Oh.... I get it. [Whispers] Neither is Tim.
[JD walks off and the Janitor turns toward “Tim” and gives him a wink and a thumbs-up.]
J.D.'s Narration: Unfortunately, I'm on-call tonight, and as weird as this place is during the day... [Camera view fades to night]...it's even worse at night. See, that's when all the weirdoes come out.
Cut to...
The Hall
J.D.'s Narration: Like the ER doctor who likes to work nights 'cause he says he's up anyway.
ER Doc: [popping some sort of candy into his mouth. Skittles? Smarties?] Hey, bro.
J.D.'s Narration: Or the nurse who everyone agrees is just a little bit off.
[A red-headed nurse is revealed with frizzy hair, and thick framed glasses...but they are ONLY the frames, as shown by her scratching her eye, through where the frames should be
J.D.'s Narration: Or, if there's a full moon....
J.D. enters the elevator.
[reveal Ted, and some other middle-aged looking men]
Ted: Hey. This is my band. We all work in different departments in the hospital.
J.D.: Ted, I know, you told me last time that we---
Ted: [sings] Legal
Middle aged man 1: [sings] Accounting
Middle-aged man 2: [sings] Shipping and Receiving
Middle-aged man 3: [sings, tenor] On-site property management including pest control, night-time security, non-arboreal gardening services, and tenant-related easements and liens.
J.D.: Hey, you got promoted!
The Band: [sings] and it's about time. He's/I’ve been busting his/my hump around here for six years. Mm-mmm.
Ted: Dr. Kelso lets us practice here at night.
J.D.: Oh, yeah, I remember, the--uh cartoon theme songs.
Ted:[laughs] No, no, no. That was lame. We do prime-time now.
{He plays the note on his pitch pipe.}
{The Band sings "The Facts of Life".}
Yyyyou take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have, THE FACTS OF LIFE (the facts of...) THE FACTS OF LIIFE (the facts of...)
By the time you show you’ve grown, now you know about the FACTS OF LIE (the facts of..) THE FACTS OF LIFE (the facts of...)
(oohhh....)When the world seems to be liiiiving up to your dreams, AND SUDDENLY YOU FINDING OUT THE FACTS OF LIFE...are all about yo-ou (about you) yooooooooouuuu! (yes, they’re about ya) [JD mouths the word “Me?”]
AAAAALL about yooooooooouuuu! It takes a lot to get them right, when you’re learning the facts of life {JD begins rapidly pressing buttons on the elevator, the band begins clapping rhythmically] (learning the facts of life...) a-keep on learnin’ ‘em (the facts of life...) [JD really begins banging buttons at this part]
Arrived on his destination floor, J.D. flees the elevator, the doors close as the band is still singing the final chord.
Nurses' Station
J.D.: Hey. So, what Attendings are stuck here on-call tonight?
Turk: Everyone's at that Kelso thing.
Elliot: I think Dr. Cox is on.
Carla: No, he went home. But he said that Carol could cover for him.
Turk: Is Carol the one with the really firm butt?
J.D.: Well, I'm "Carol", so yes.
Elliot: It's disturbing how obsessed you are with your own butt.
J.D.: Oh, come on. You guys are missing the point: No one is here tonight but us, we are running this hospital.
Turk: This is our house!
Elliot: We're in charge!
J.D.: I love my butt!
[Elliot, Turk, and JD hug in a small cluster]
J.D.'s Narration: It's amazing how one moment you think you know exactly what you want....
Cut to...
Dr. Cox's Apartment -- Bedroom
Perry is watching Jordan sleep.
Dr. Cox: Oh, God. Come on.
J.D.'s Narration: ...And then the next moment, everything changes.
Cut back to...
The Hospital – Nurses' Station [the group is now dancing slightly]
Carla: Okay, Elliot: [the camera slowly zooms in on her face, for dramatic effect] The ER doctor knows there's no attending up here, so instead of treating-&-streeting people, he's just admitting everyone. You've got twelve so far [hands Elliot a large stack of charts].
Carla: Turk: [the camera slowly zooms in on his face, for dramatic effect] Oncology, Cardiology, and Pediatrics all need surgical consults...plus---
{The phone rings.}
Carla: [picks it up and holds it to Turk.] That phone is for you. It's the clinic -- they, too, know you're on your own so they're just patching all their night calls right on through.
Carla: And Bambi: [the camera slowly zooms in on his face, for dramatic effect] Room 201 needs an art-line(?), Room 202 needs reintubation; plus, Carol, you're needed in ICU to place a femoral swan under fleur on Mr. Freed.
J.D.: Never actually...done one of these unsupervised before.
{The beepers start going off.}
J.D.'s Narration: And that's when I realized, tonight we really were all alone -- running the hospital.
{The Band sing "Charles in Charge," to which, Carla is dancing with a smile}
~*~
COMMERCIAL
~*~
Re-open: The Hospital – Nurses' Station, everyone is still staring at their beepers.
J.D.'s Narration: Luckily, someone had the guts to stand up and take charge.
Carla: [walks in] Look, you've all been on-call before. So, you don't have a safety-net. Most of the time you don't need one, anyway, right?
[JD, Elliot, and Turk stand, not speaking]
Carla: Fine. I'll just go tell your patients that they're on their own because you're all too scared.
J.D.: No, Carla. I'm the doctor. I should tell them.
Elliot: [knocks the ends of her clipboards on the counter, to evenly line them up] Come on, peeps! Let's go kick some sick patient ass! [Walks off to do some work]
J.D.: That, my friends, is one nerdy honky! [Walks off]
Turk: [to Carla] That's two.
~CUT TO~
Dr. Cox's Apartment -- Bedroom
Jordan: My back hurts.
Dr. Cox: Oh, yeah? Well my front hurts, so touché.
Jordan: Ah, always a charmer. Hi.
Dr. Cox: Hi. I'm gonna go ahead and get you a big, ice-cold glass of water. Whatta you think of that? [Stands on the bed and walks over her and off-screen]
Cut to...
The Hospital
[Dr. Cox is at the ICU nurse’s station filling up a glass of water from a water cooler.]
Dr. Cox: Ohhh, sweet mother of mercy, Carla, you were right. You were so right.
Carla: Of course.
Dr. Cox: Just exactly what in the hell am I supposed to do now?
Carla: Duck.
Dr. Cox: Wha--! [Quickly ducks under the counter because Turk is walking in]
Turk: Who let that damn clinic page me 'cause a patient thinks their tongue is too spongy!? Huh!? Who!?
Dr. Cox: Under no circumstances are you to tell any of them that I'm here.
Carla: Yeah, yeah. Look: Why don't you just go home and tell Jordan how you feel.
Dr. Cox: [laughing] Tell a woman how I feel?
Carla: Well, I guess you could duck.
Dr. Cox: Uh! [Once again he ducks, this time from an approaching Elliot]
Elliot: Carla, this is ridiculous! He admitted out of Cardiology because he has heartburn! I hate ER docs!
Dr. Cox: You just...don't understand my relationship with Jordan.
Carla: Duck.
Dr. Cox: Hah! [Once again, he ducks, but when he hears nothing he looks up to see that she is just toying with him, as there is nobody coming]
Dr. Cox: Now that's just not funny.
~CUT TO~
ICU –- Patient's Cubicle
J.D.'s Narration: I don't know why I was scared of placing a femoral swan, [Dr Cox is revealed to be walking by in the halls, he looks in, sees JD, and then franticly tries to hide so JD doesn’t see him] I guess I just couldn't stop wishing there was someone over my shoulder. [JD looks back because he thinks he just saw Dr. Cox, who managed to successfully hide from him.] I was...even starting to see things.
J.D.: Okay, Mr. Freed. I think I can do this.
Mr. Freed: [from under an oxygen mask] Hm!?
J.D.: I'm gonna need a C-arm in here!
Janitor: Want me to knock him out?
J.D.: What are you doing in here?
Janitor: I owe ya. I'm helping you out.
J.D.: This--this isn't like being a janitor, okay! It's not just like something everybody can do.
Janitor: Oh. So you can do my stuff, but I can't do yours.
J.D.: YES!
Janitor: Okay, hotshot, what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor?
J.D.: I don't know the...rough side of a sponge?
Janitor: [silence]...............Dammit. [Starts to walk off, gives JD a dirty look, and walks off.]
~*~
Patient’s Room
Carla: Officer Berson's spiraling a bit.
Elliot: His pulmonary edema seems to be secondary to acute nitro-regurgitation. If it turns out to be a flail-leaf flood (?), he'll need surgery.
Turk: Yeah, but his vitals are so weak; I wouldn't feel confident about taking him to the OR.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Ahh, the classic Catch-22 between Medical and Surgical. Bottom-line, somebody needs to be decisive.
J.D.: Okay, here's the plan: We do nothing.
Elliot: Sounds good.
Turk: I'm in.
Carla: [sarcastic] That's inspiring.
J.D.: We'll meet back here in a few hours and see if his vitals have improved.
{Turks cell-phone rings.}
Turk: Yeah. This ends now.
J.D.'s Narration: Turk should've known that the worst mistake a doctor can possibly make is setting foot in the hospital's free clinic -- at night.
Cut to...
The Free Clinic
Turk faces a patient.
Turk: I don't care if you do shave down there. That's not even a medical issue! But it sure is pretty!
Turk faces another patient.
Turk: Ma'am, you don't have mono. But you do have halitosis. [Pulls out some Altoids] Mint?
Turk faces another patient.
Turk: Ma'am, three baby Tylenol is actually an under-dose for a woman your size.
She decks him.
Turk: OH!
Turk faces a patient who has their arms all wrapped around behind their back.
Turk: Yes, congratulations, you _are_ double-jointed.
~*~
A Ward
Elliot: [frazzled, and talking very quickly] Look, I just thought we'd talk to you up here about it so you could see that we don't have any more beds and we really can't handle any more patients.
ER Doc: Okay. You talk way too fast.
Elliot: [still quickly speaking] If you could just keep one person downstairs, we'd be willing to throw a parade for you! [ER doc still has a look of “what the hell did she just say?” on his face]
Carla: She needs you to give her a break.
ER Doc: Oh. Well, tell her that we're really swamped.
Carla: She can understand you!
Elliot: Uh-huh! Yeah!
ER Doc: Well then, uh, understand this: Chill out, bitty.
~*~
Dr. Cox's Apartment – Bedroom [Dr. Cox walks in through the door; Jordan is sitting upright against the back board of the bed, reading a book by the light of a lamp.]
Dr. Cox: Hey.
Jordan: Hey. Didn't you go to get water, like, an hour ago?
Dr. Cox: More or less, yeah.
Dr. Cox: Hey, Jordan, there's something I really want to say to you....
Jordan: But can you say it while I'm drinking water? Because I'm really dying of thirst---
Dr. Cox: I like you...again. There, you win. You can ahead and do your victory dance or slaughter a goat or whatever it is you do when you're happy.
Jordan: You don't like me.
Dr. Cox: I watch you when you sleep.
Jordan: Well that just gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Dr. Cox: I can't stop thinking about putting up with you.
Jordan: Look: This is pointless, angry, shallow sex! Why would you go and ruin something like that?
Dr. Cox: I'm real sorry, but that's just not enough for me anymore.
Jordan: Sweetie, I have feelings for you, too; I do. But unlike you, I have some balls, so you don't hear me whining about it. Look, Perry, I can't let you back into my life, and watch you personally and professionally sabotage every single chance that you get. It's too hard. I can't do it.
Dr. Cox: I've changed. I have. I see a shrink now; I actually see two, tell you the truth. Good God, what do you want me to do to prove that I'm not that guy anymore?
Jordan: Hmm...
Cut to...
Awards Banquet
Dr. Kelso: There you are! Had to make me sweat, didn't ya! [Laughs] Good for you, buckaroo. Here. I took the liberty of writing out my introduction. [Hands him a piece of paper]
Dr. Cox: Oh! [Reading:] Bob Kelso is...the love of my life.
Dr. Kelso: My wife was going to do it.
Dr. Cox: She doesn't even seem to be here, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: Eh. What're you gonna do?
Dr. Cox: Heh!
Jordan: Lovely.
Dr. Cox: Heh.
~*~
Hospital, we see JD’s Stethoscope hanging from a high-up place, Janitor walks up to him
Janitor: [deep voice] You rang. [JD doesn’t get it.] Lurch.
J.D.: Oh. Um. My stethoscope is stuck up there, and I need you to get it down for me. [Reaches, but can’t reach it...but he’s not trying]
Janitor: You put it up there.
J.D.: It's really neither here nor there.
Janitor: Fine. All right, we're even.
J.D.: Thank God.
Janitor: You know you could have just asked me to stop hassling you for, like, a year?
J.D.: Okay, I want that, then. [Shoves the stethoscope back to the Janitor]
Janitor: It's too late. [Walks off with the stethoscope]
J.D.: But I...use those...for listening.
Nurse (the one that is just a bit off): Oh, uh, they want you upstairs in room, um, [lifts up the frames......which is totally redundant...because they are JUST frames...] 208.
Cut to...
Patient's Room
J.D.: His vitals are exactly the same. There's gotta be one attending in this stupid hospital.
Carla: You guys are unbelievable.
Turk: Oh, thank you, baby. [Starts to put his arm around her]
Carla: Not the good kind.
Turk: I know! [Quickly snaps his arm back]
Carla: You all claim you want more responsibility.... But [to Elliot] you're being outsmarted by a doctor who wears scrubs made out of hemp; [to Turk] you're afraid to stand up to a volunteer who's answering the clinic phones; and Bambi, did you ever place that femoral swan?
J.D.: It's on my to-do list.
Carla: Now I know you're all hoping Officer Berson's vitals will go up or down and this decision will be made for you, but guess what? Nothing's changed. So it's on you.
J.D.'s Narration: We all knew what we had to do.
J.D.: Surgery.
{Band does the opening to "The Six Million Dollar Man"}
J.D.'s Narration: Sometimes, just making a decision is half the battle.
Ted: Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was before. Better. Stronger. Faster.
{They do the electronic sound effects of the theme.}
Ted: [to one of his band mates] Your "zhn-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne"s could be louder. [To the other two] You guys were fine.
~*~
The Awards Banquet
Dr. Cox: Good evening, everybody. Bob Kelso is....
J.D.'s Narration: In moments of truth, we always reveal who we really are.
Dr. Cox: Bob Kelso is an awful, awful man.
There's uncomfortable silence before someone in the room snickers. The rest join in cheerful laughter and applause at Dr. Cox's humor.
Dr. Cox: I'm not joking. He's the devil. What's wrong with you people? This is---
Dr. Kelso: Yeah! Great stuff, Perry! Great stuff! Is this guy a hoot, or what?
Dr. Kelso: I'll have your ass for this.
Jordan walks out.
Dr. Cox: Jor--Jordan!
Dr. Kelso: Thank you, thank you.
J.D.'s Narration: Sometimes, we're our own worst enemy.
J.D.'s Narration: And sometimes, we rise to the occasion.
Cut to...
Hospital
J.D. explains the policeman's condition to his fellow officers.
J.D.: Everything went, uh, really well.
J.D.'s Narration: Even though we all know that tomorrow morning, the three of us will go back to being the most unappreciated people in the whole damn hospital.
The gang walks out of the hospital, ready to go home.
Nurse: [to Carla] Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were off last night?
Carla: I switched shifts to help some friends out. Have a good one.
Carla: Hey, guys! Wait up!
{The Band sings "Charles in Charge".}
Dr. Kelso: Shut up, Ted, its morning!
FADE TO BLACK
END

Writer: Eric Weinberg
Director: Craig Zisk
***********************************************************************
Guest stars:
Sam Lloyd (Ted Buckland),
Christa Miller (Jordan Sullivan),
Philip McNiven (Roy) **
George Miserlis (Crispin) **
Paul F. Perry (Randall) **
Bonita Friedericy (Nurse),
Marcus Ashley (ER Doctor),
Richard Cansino (Dr. Rose),
Amy Tolsky (Bespectacled Nurse)

** In Ted’s “band”