She should have said no

She should have said no

She stays with him, even though it hurts her too. She loves him, even if she's not sure he loves her back. She's loyal, even though he may not be so loyal. She has plenty of reasons to break up with him, few reasons to stay with him. But yet, she can't do it, she can't break up with him. She doesn't know why, and she hates herself for it. She wonders why he doesn't IM her right away, but yet he'll IM a girl who he hates, right when she logs on. She wonders why he's barely ever on, if he loves her so much, wouldn't he be on more, so he could talk to her? She wonders why he doesn't ever call her. He says he loves her voice, but then, how come there aren't any phone calls from him? Why, she asks herself, does he seem to only want pictures of her in barely any clothes? Why does he constantly try to cyber with her? Is that all he wants? And when he says "brb" and is gone for an hour or more, she bets he's just avoiding her. He says he loves her, all the time, but she's beginning to disbelieve it. She was supposed to get signs from him, for her birthday, pictures of him, holding things with the words written "I love ----" and her name would be there. But she hasn't gotten them. He didn't even tell her happy birthday, but he told her friend happy birthday. He wanted her to get a cell phone, so he could talk to her more. But he doesn't text, or call her. She has to text him, but she'd never call him. She doesn't know if she'd be able to say "I love you too" if he told her on the phone. It's so much easier to lie online. But she doesn't really know if she's lying. She thinks she loves him. She wants to love him. But she's not sure, anymore. And on his myspace, she hates to go to his, he has a lot of things from his ex. Is he still so hung up on his ex that he just, won't fucking change it? What about her? Where does she come into the picture? Has he even told anyone about her? She's on the verge of tears, right now, because she's realizing the truth. The truth hurts, so..SO much. She likes a guy at school. She thinks he likes her back. She wants him, badly. And why not go for him? She's pretty sure she's not the only girlfriend in her boyfriends life. The thing is, she'd feel bad. He may hurt her a lot, but she can't make herself do anything unloyal. She dreams about the boy in school more than her boyfriend. She smiles when she see's or even thinks aboyt the boy at school. She's happy for a bit, when she talks to her boyfriend. But the happyness fades quickly, and is replaced by sadness. Her heart is breaking. He tells her nothing about himself, she has to ask. He never tells her where he was, he lies, he breaks promises, he's a bastard, really. He can be sweet, but as one of her best friends says, his small kindness doesn't make up for him being a bastard all the time. She should dump him, really she should, she knows she should. But oh god. She just loves him so much. She's a dumbass, she knows, she really really does know. She wonders, how bad will it hurt when he breaks up with me? Because I know, I'll never break up with him. She can't even imagine breaking up with him, honestly.
They started out as just two people, talking in a chatroom. Then, on msn. Not long after that, he began to tell her he loved her, she didn't say it back, because how the fuck can you love someone you've known for so little? But now she knows. She understands how you can fall in love with someone so quickly. Someone you've never really even talked to. She wishes that they could just be friends, not a couple. When they were just friends, it was fun. Flirting was fun, he never hurt her feelings. He told her she was gorgeous, he talked to her, he IMed her as soon as he saw her log on. He never "brb'd". Only talked to her. She wonders, what changed? Why now, when I'm his, does he not do this anymore? When he asked her to be his...She should have said no.