The Super Mega Awesome Adventures of Guava

The Super Mega Awesome Adventures of Guava

I finally left home. I really wish I could say good-bye to everyone, but I know that I won't be able to. I just KNOW they're gonna come looking for me. I already decided, anyway. I stocked up on supplies before I left of course. I think it'll last a week; I don't eat much anyway. The only problem now is location... But where do I go? Lucky for me, I “borrowed” a handy little map from home that we never used, so it should be OK, right? Oops, I'm talking to myself. I gotta stop doing that. Wait, why am I writing in a journal in the first place? I hate writing. Makes me wish I could get someone to narrate my life. Like some disembodied voice that knows everything I'm going to do. But that's impossible.

Love, Guava

This is Guava. He leaves for his first adventure tonight. A nice young man, and quite the outgoing type, he's definitely in for more than he bargained for in a little adventure. Let's see what happens to this little Novice, shall we?

“Ugh, I stepped in cow crap.”

*sigh* Fascinating.

“Jeez, it's all over my foot. Gonna have to wash that when I leave town...” said Guava. But just as he was about to take a step out to the street, he heard some noise coming from his house. Then, a loud, piercing shriek.

Aw, crap. She woke up. Gotta get out of town fast.

And like a bat out of Nifflheim, Guava ran. He ran just outside the gate of town, out of breath.

“Dang, does she have a sixth sense for these things or what? Scared the hell outta me.” Guava weakly told himself.

“Oog, I haven't had any exercise like that in years...” He decided to rest for a minute. He found a nice-looking rock and took a seat. He took some time to smell the beach air and breathed it in deeply. It smelled like it had always smelled, but he felt something... Different about it this night.

“Mmm. It feels like the sea is talking to me.” Guava said happily to himself. “It's telling me to go... To go west?” Guava jumped onto his feet onto the rock and smacked his chest with a fist. “Alright, talking ocean! West it is!”

AND THEN HE GOT EATEN BY A SHARK