First Impressions

First Impressions

Jamie’s mouth moved. Was he saying something? The pounding in my ears cancelled out all other sound. Just a dull pulse that hammered my skull at every frantic beat of my heart. My whole body was frozen except for my heart, straining to push frozen blood through my veins. I realized I wasn’t breathing. Snap out of it! I had to keep my composure. I lowered my shoulders from where they were locked up near my chin. I exhaled. The gun was still between my eyes but I tried not to look at it.
Jamie mumbled something. He looked angry. I pleaded with myself to just be able to interpret what he was saying. I felt a drop of sweat crawl down my temple. I wasn’t breathing again.
“What?” I managed to cough.
“One last time. Open. The. Door.”
Realization came rushing to me once more. My shaky hand reached into my pocket and clasped tightly on my keys. I held them so hard that the blunt metal pushed itself into my flesh, leaving red marks when changed my grip in order to insert them into the lock.
Jamie lowered his gun. Anna grinned at him as I slowly twisted the keys. The joints in my hand were petrified, so I had trouble letting go and grabbing the handle. I swung open the barrier and the two led me in. The alarm on the wall blinked silently.
“Kill it.” Jamie said, waving the pistol in its general direction.
“I…” I faltered. I was shaking.
“Listen.” Jamie pointed the gun at me again. “We’re your friends. We like you. But you’re being a dick. Be a cool dude and turn that shit off.”
I jolted into action and entered the disarm code into the keypad, making sure to press each button extra hard to ensure it registered. I turned back to them and nodded stiffly.
“Chill out, sauerkraut” Anna said, grinning seductively and draping herself over Jamie’s shoulder. Rage boiled up inside me, filling my stomach, then my lungs, then my throat. I had to clench my teeth to stop myself from speaking. I hated her more than anyone in the world.
My thoughts were interrupted as a trash bag was thrown into my face.
“Let’s get going.” Jamie said, taking out a bag of his own and one for Anna. “Babe, you get the register. T, where’s the safe?”
I pointed to the back.
“Come on then.” He said. We walked to the back of the store and pointed to the safe.
“Do it.” He said. I got onto my knees and began to twirl the dial. My blood was boiling now. I hated Jamie, I hated Anna, but most of all I hated myself for being led on by them. They’re friendship, their funny stories, Anna’s embarrassed glances my way. It had all been a fake. I finished putting in the combination and stood up awkwardly. All my muscles were clenched. Jamie gave me a pat on the back and I exhaled sharply through my nose. As he bent down and raked the money into his bag I thought about driving my foot into the back of his neck. Breaking his face on the metal safe, then slamming the door on his head over and over until his teeth came out and blood dripped from his ears. I could do it. I could do it right now. The desire welled up inside me and I could feel my arms violently shaking back and forth. My fingers aching to wrap themselves around his neck and clench at his windpipe until his last breath gurgled out of him. I could do it right now! I could end this bastard’s life! Get back at him for betraying my trust! He wasn’t my friend! I’ll kill him!
He stood up and I jumped backwards. He had finished too early. Or was it that I hesitated for too long?
“Nice job, man.” He said, smiling his innocent smile. He walked out of the back. I followed sluggishly, in a daze.
“You all done, coffeecake?” Anna slunk up beside him.
“Yeah. Lets get outta here.” He said. He looked over his shoulder at me, standing in the corner. I was unable to look him in the eye.
“You coming T-bone?” Anna asked, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. I continued to stare at the floorboards. She shrugged and the two strolled out. I stood there for a full 10 minutes before sitting down on the ground. Outside the sun was just starting to rise, and the rest of the world was continuing on with its life. I guess I’m just a terrible judge of character.