Chain Reaction

Chain Reaction

It’s funny how the most insignificant things escalate into complete and utter chaos wherever alcohol is involved. In this case it was the simple act of spinning a penny on the bar top gone horribly awry. The penny, set into motion by God knows who, careened across the table, connected with a spoon lying on the edge of the bar and fell into it. And it just so happened that at that moment someone who’d had a bit too much to drink began tottering by, swaying wildly and collapsing momentarily on the bar for support. His arm landed atop the spoon’s handle, which in turn flipped the spoon over, which resulted in the now motionless penny being flung through the smoke-filled air.

It landed in someone’s shot glass with impeccable timing, disappearing almost as soon as it landed as he raised the glass to his lips to drink. When to his surprise he discovered a solid object accompanying his shot of whiskey he immediately spat the whole thing out, nearly choking himself and serving to make several other people nearby rather damp. He coughed the penny into his hand, staring at it. In his drunken stupor he didn’t actually realize what it was. But it didn’t matter because it had pissed him off, and that was all that mattered.

He loudly demanded to know who had just attempted to kill him off by slipping this foreign object into his glass, and when the only replies he received were interesting combinations of certain choice four-letter words, he flung the penny at the first object his hazy vision could make out that wasn’t spinning erratically. As it just so happened that object was someone else’s eye, and they didn’t much appreciate the gesture, regardless of the fact that they were now one cent richer.

Reacting in a predictable manner (see: yelling loudly in pain, cursing optional), he then proceeded to follow the most rational plan of action his brain could come up with, and promptly turned to the person next to him and punched them in the nose. As you might expect, this did not go over well. Blows were exchanged, and the dueling drunkards began grappling with each other. Neither of them was sober enough to hold up their own weight, let alone someone else’s, and they fell over and crashed into a table, knocking its contents askew. More blows were exchanged. Those sitting at the overturned table saw fit to join in. Chaos ensued.

And that is how a spinning penny resulted in a police squad arriving to respond to a frantic 911 call at 2 in the morning.