Al Colegio 2-El Gato es muy feo

I looked at the clock, it was midnight. I looked at my watch, it was 8:35. The party started at 9:00, I knew I would be late, I was always early for these sorts of things, why I was late, I couldn't tell. Who had changed my clock, or was it my watch? Damn, I might have missed the whole thing. I looked at my watch again, it was 2:14. Damn, I wasted 2 hour thinking of this. I ran outside to the tree in my front yard, I jammed a key into it. Two blocks away a car started. Damn, another wormhole. These things are always in the most inappropriate places. Why was I trying to get to a party? I hate parties. One time I found a wormhole in my pants on accident, my grandma won't speak to me anymore. She used to give me baths, but that was a long time ago. I'm old now, I'm glad she doesn't give me baths anymore. I looked at my watch again, it was 1:45. I had gained enough time to realize that I had missed the party by many hours, but I didn't like parties and I was only 30 minutes closer. There was a bird in the sky, I never noticed any birds flying at night. Of course, I never paid a lot of attention to birds. It was flying upside down. I knew it would fall soon, there is no way it could sustain flight like that. The sun was rising. The bird didn't fall, all I could think was "I hope it doesn't crap on the sun". I looked at my watch, it was 11:34:40 in the morning. On a calculater this would read "Oh Hell" if I'd turned it upside down. So this bird wasn't upside down, it was just lost, on the wrong side of the earth, and so was my watch. I looked at my watch one more time, it said "Oh Hell", and I was balancing on my head in China. I'm late for the party, but I don't like parties.

> Negative Noon