Extra-Awesome Super-Duper Uber Radical Halloween Special

Extra-Awesome Super-Duper Uber Radical Halloween Special

“Brigg, are you ready yet?” Mari poked her head around the door and peered into the room, spotting Brigg seated on the couch. “Hey, what’re ya doin’?? We’re almost ready t’ go!”

Brigg didn’t glance away from the television, adjusting his hat and changing the channel lazily. “I’m ready.”

Mari frowned. “No yer not, yer not dressed as nothin’.”

“Sure I am,” Brigg muttered. “I’m dressed as a cowboy.”

Mari blinked at him for a moment before rolling her eyes. “That’s ‘cause you are a frickin’ cowboy, dumbass. Put on a costume, Christ…”

Brigg turned his head and glanced back at her, arching an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? An’ what’re you?”

Mari frowned at him again and stepped into the doorway. She wore a long toga and laurels on her head. “I’m Athena…I guess. Me ‘n Ri are doin’ a Greek theme, an’ I didn’t feel like dressin’ like a slut like every other girl so Aphrodite’s out.”

“Yer not wearin’ a bra,” Brigg pointed out, turning back to the television.

Mari was glad he did, because she couldn’t hide the redness in her cheeks no matter how hard she tried. “That don’t count as slutty!”

Brigg just grunted.

A door on another side of the room opened and Aouri stepped out. He wore a comically fuzzy beard and was clad in a long flowing red cloak, a leather Speedo-esque loincloth, boots…and nothing else. “Oh God…” Mari muttered. Aouri strode confidently into the room and propped his foot up on the coffee table, posing to show off his impressive physique. He paused for a moment, glancing around the room, and then drew in a deep breath. “Here it comes…”

“This. Is. SPARTA!!!” He drew a foam sword and whapped it over Brigg’s head, knocking his hat off.

“Hey!” the Magii protested, shielding his head from further attacks with his arm.

“C’mon, Brigg!” Aouri said. “Put on a costume! Do it an’ I’ll leave ya ‘lone.” He kept poking at Brigg with the point of his sword, no matter how much the surly cowboy batted the toy away. “You know you waaaannt tooooo…”

“Jesus, fine, fine!” Brigg shouted, standing up and gathering his hat. “Just cut that the !@#$ out!”

Mari folded her arms and leaned against the doorway, staring at Aouri. “Jeez, Aouri, the goggles aren’t glued t’ yer head. Take ‘em off!”

“No way. I’m the most technologically advanced Spartan alive,” he said. He adjusted his cloak and stepped off of the table. “Brigg, do ya even have a costume?”

“Yeah, I got one,” Brigg muttered, waving a dismissive hand. “Just didn’t wanna wear it…” He scratched his head and walked off to his room to change. As he did, the doorbell rang.

“Ah, that’ll be Stace,” Mari said, moving to go answer the door. She opened it to reveal a rather gaudily-dressed individual with pink hair.

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy!!” Staci waved a plastic glowing sword in the air and beamed at her, nearly bowling her over as he tackle-hugged her. “How are you?? Oh my god, you look so nice! Hot Greek goddess, I like!”

Mari ignored the ‘hot’ comment and hugged Staci back before moving away to look him over. “What are you?”

“I’m a pirate!” Staci said, spreading his arms with a slight eye roll. “Duh.” He was dressed in a frilly white shirt that revealed his pale neck and some of his chest, and leather pants, with a fashionable vest over the shirt, a sash about his waist, and a belt around his chest. Necklaces and chains dangled from his person, many laden with bright glowsticks, and he wore a jaunty pirate hat with an overly fluffy pink feather stuck in it.

“Aren’t these the coolest boots??” he squealed, showing her his large leather boots with golden buckles, and Mari had to admit they were pretty nice. He walked in and Mari followed him to the main room. “Hey, Rubio!” he called to Aouri. “Lookin’ good! Ow!”

“As usual,” Aouri said, posing again.

“I’m so ready to par-tay!” Staci glanced around. “Where’s Sunshine?”

“He’s getting changed,” Mari said.

“Well I’m ready to go,” Staci said. “Sunshine, hurry up!”

As he called Brigg’s door opened, and he stepped out into the room with a sour look. He was clad in a dark blue yukata with a white obi sash, wooden geta sandals on his feet. His hair was bound in a high ponytail, and he wore a toy katana at his side.

“How the hell do they walk in these things all day?” he muttered, stamping up and down on his sandals.

Staci laughed and bounced on his heels. “A samurai! Nice choice, Sunshine!”

Aouri rushed over and pointed his sword at the ready, poking Brigg in the chest. “En garde! Let’s see which of us is the better swordsman!”

Brigg stared at him for a second, and then brushed past him with a sigh. “Let’s just go.”

A short time later they all departed for the grand Halloween party they’d been invited to, hosted by no one in particular. Aouri and Staci dueled each other the whole way there, and both Mari and Brigg attempted to keep errant breezes from blowing their outfits out of control.

When they arrived at the conveniently large house the party was being held at, they spotted two individuals at the front door entwined in each other’s arms. The young couple was in the process of devouring each other’s faces, the young man holding a clipboard under one arm that most likely held the guest list.

Brigg drew his sword and bopped him on the head as they approached. “Are you even doin’ yer job?”

Drake stopped making out long enough to look up, messy black hair draped over one side of his face. He was clad in slacks, a white dress shirt, and a red jacket complete with coattails, a top hat sitting on his head. His face was covered in pale white makeup, with black streaks running down under his eyes. He regarded the group in silence, looking them all over, but didn’t say anything.

“Hey, I’m surprised ya didn’t go the full goth route an’ dress as a vampire,” Aouri said to him. “Not that the emo tears are too obvious or anything… What are you supposed t’ be, anyways?”

Drake’s girlfriend, a young woman clad in a buckskin shirt, pants, and moccasins all adorned with colorful painted designs, turned to him, a pair of feathers in her dark braided hair. “He’s a circus ringmaster,” Katina explained.

Aouri nodded. “Ah… Were the tears really necessary? Yer so depressin’…”

Drake gave him a sarcastic smile and rolled his eyes, stepping out of the way and waving them in. “Nice thong,” he muttered.

“It’s a loincloth,” Aouri replied as he passed. “And yes, it is, thank you.”

After they’d all walked (or bounced, in Staci’s case) inside, Drake and Katina moved back into the doorway and resumed their makeout session.

Meanwhile, another group was arriving behind them. A young man in an eyepatch moved into view, dressed in a high-collared cape and a fancy suit, fangs protruding from beneath his lip and his hair pulled into a ponytail. He turned and sighed at someone out of sight, pulling on a pair of white gloves.

“Didn’t you go before you left?” James asked exasperatedly.

“Ey, when ya gotsa piss, ya gotsa piss,” came the reply. A scruffy-looking red-headed man in a pink shirt followed behind him, zipping up his pants. Aside from a goatee his face was covered in prosthetic fur stuck to his cheeks and jaw like unruly sideburns, pointy ears protruding from the fur. Similar fur was stuck to his arms and the backs of his hands, and he scratched at them in irritation. “Dis shit itches,” Arrio muttered.

James sighed again and shook his head. He peered past Arrio into the light. “Are the others coming?” He soon got his answer as two women emerged from the darkness of the night Eloise was dressed in a tight pink and black jumpsuit with a helmet under one arm, the words “Heart Breaker” written on both in jagged script. Beside her Kestrel had come as a cowgirl, complete with a ten-gallon hat, chaps, and a popper pistol.

Arrio gave a drawn-out wolf whistle, his eyes fixed on Eloise as she approached, and James eyed him. “That’s the fifth time you’ve done that tonight,” he said. “Stop.”

“I’mma wuff!” Arrio said defensively. “Dat’s what wuff’s do, dey wissles!”

James hid his face in one hand and sighed yet again, even as Kestrel fired her gun into the air with loud pops and “yeehaw’d” for all she was worth.

Behind the girls came a chimpanzee with glasses in a lab coat, trousers, and a frizzy gray afro and fuzzy mustache. “And that is why I’m glad she left the real guns at home,” he muttered to no one in particular, his voice emanating from a small speaker stuck to his coat.

“Too bad Lo’s monster truck didn’t get here on time,” Kestrel remarked absently, skipping along the sidewalk and riding her “steed”, a pony’s head on a stick. “We coulda ridden here in style!”

“Yes,” Eloise said sourly. “Last time I use zat ‘Ebay’ site.”

The last of their group straggled behind, one of them literally dragging his feet. Jiro shuffled along slowly with his hands in his pockets. He was drenched in fake blood, his face painted a sickly dead color. There were heavy bags under his hooded eyes as well, but those were real. Beside him walked Ione, dressed in a purple wizard’s robe and hat dotted with stars and carrying a glowing wand. Lastly, Hanah walked in front of them, clad in a white nurse’s outfit.

She turned to glance back at them, frowning. “Hurry up, Jiro. Honestly, what is with you all the time?”

Jiro gave an unintelligible grunt and just kept shuffling.

Hanah rolled her eyes. “You really are such a zombie…”

Needless to say Drake and Katina noticed this group a good while before they actually reached the house, and Drake blinked at them for a moment before scanning the guest list. “Names?” As James gave him their names Arrio scratched wildly at his neck behind him, growling to himself. Drake waved them in, and they filed past. He gave a lazy wave to Jiro as he passed, and the white-haired boy gave a lazy wave back, sighing for no reason.

And meanwhile, yet another group (or couple, rather) was on their way to the party. A young boy shrouded in black from head to toe, a scarf obscuring his entire face except for his eyes, fumed silently and folded his arms. Unlike the normal children out trick-or-treating tonight the miniature katana he wore on his back was real, and he was getting urges to stab his partner viciously and repeatedly.

“How the hell are you drunk already?” Morty scowled beneath his scarf. “We haven’t even gotten to the party yet!”

Beside him his partner, a blonde woman dressed in a black bunny outfit, complete with ears, tights, and a fuzzy tail, stumbled in her pumps and giggled softly. “I’m a professional,” Ida slurred.

Morty the ninja glared at her and pictured killing her in his head, as he did much too often. It wasn’t as good as the real thing, but it would have to do. They reached the house in a short time and went inside after Drake checked the guest list, and Morty immediately split off as Ida headed for the drink table. He was determined not to talk to her at all until they had to leave.

Inside, the house was packed full of guests, music blaring on the stereo and a disco ball glimmering overhead. Halloween decorations were well in evidence, and even the food and drinks were Halloween themed; cupcakes with icing spiders on top, bat sugar cookies, and “bloody” punch. It was a lively party, made even more lively as Kestrel fired her popper some more and Staci ran around hanging glowsticks everywhere.

Jiro, who had barely even lifted his feet on their way there, became surprisingly nimble and acute at dodging around party guests, as well as avoiding any and all forms of socialization. Ione had left to go to the bathroom. He emerged from the main body of the party and finally found a sitting area to hang out in. Perfect. Ignoring the other occupants of the room he walked to the couch and plopped down, ready to relax and take a nap or something.

“Nnngwha?” The couch shifted underneath him, causing him to jump up in surprise, and a blanket-covered lump he’d taken to be a pillow stirred, a tousled head of hair poking out from under it. “What’s alla noise?”

“Trent, disguising yourself as a lump don’t count as a costume,” called a scruffy-looking boy from a chair across from them. At least, it looked like a boy, but upon a closer look Jiro saw that it was actually a girl, dressed in ragged pants and a large dirty shirt.

“Well…neither does…whatever yer dressed as,” Trent muttered, settling his head back down on the couch. “And for yer information, I’m a mummy. Just…wrapped in blankets.”

“I’m dressed as myself,” Kavota said, folding her arms. “Ain’t any good costumes to wear.”

Jiro blinked at her for a moment, as the girl appeared to have large pointy ears and a tail, which at first he’d thought was a costume. What was she supposed to be anyway?

She noticed him looking and stared right back at him. “Whatcha lookin’ at?”

“…Nothin’.” Jiro decided he would go elsewhere, where there was no human (or otherwise) interaction, and promptly headed off to find a couch that wouldn’t move when he sat on it.

Meanwhile, Arrio was leaning against a wall whistling at nearly every girl that walked by. Mari frowned at him as he did it to her, glancing over and rolling her eyes.

“I told you no last time, and it’s the same answer this time.”

Arrio gave her his most charming grin, which wasn’t very charming at all. “Where’s yer holiday spirit?”

Mari rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t have anything to do with anything…” Before Arrio could speak again she left, and he grumbled and scratched at his irritating fur. After a while he spotted Ida nearby and whistled at her as well. He got a more desirable reaction this time, as she turned and smiled drunkenly at him, posing as if she were a pinup model.

“You like what you see?” she asked, and he nodded.

“I shore do,” he said with a leering grin. “Nice costume.”

“Thanks.” She sipped from her glass and looked him over. “You too…I love your shirt…”

As Mari and Eloise bonded over smashing cars and explosions, Aouri and Brigg dueled around the house with toy swords, Kestrel led a strange boy with glowing green eyes cavorting around the house, and Staci met up with Nero the albino android, who had dressed in similar roguish yet fashionable pirate attire, and formed a crew of their own.

“Is it always this…hectic around here?” James asked an elderly man with a cane seated nearby, stepping back as Aouri and Brigg fenced their way past.

Vindvalli shook his head. “Not to this extent… Most of the people here are pretty loopy though, I’ve noticed. I just sit back and enjoy the show.”

“Story of my life,” Simon muttered, taking a seat near the old scientist.

Somewhere near the back two young women sat together, out of the way of the madness, both dressed in robes but each of different style and make. One of them watched the partygoers with a rather uncertain expression.

“Such a strange place this is…” she remarked, glancing around at everything.

“Very strange,” agreed the girl next to her, a blindfold tied tightly around her eyes. “So noisy and confusing and…different. Nothing is anything like the land I hail from…”

“As is with me as well,” said the first. She glanced at the blindfolded girl, who had a manner and clothing style much like her own, the most familiar aspect of the odd house. “I am Silvi,” she said by way of introduction.

“Aruna,” answered the other girl with a nod.

Silvi stared at Brigg as he moved past, chasing after Aouri, and then at the glowing-eyed Knat as he walked past, following Kestrel and toting an old rotary phone. “Some of these people have the strangest eyes…”

Aruna smiled. “I hadn’t noticed…”

Silvi blinked at her, and then smiled as well, chuckling softly.

“They have rather…”unique” scents, however… I can smell that one from here. He smells as filthy as he sounds.” Aruna raised her arm and pointed across the room towards Arrio, and Silvi nodded in agreement, pinching her nose.

“Yes…I think I can too.”

Walking past, Hanah stopped when she spotted the pair of them. “Hey, why are you guys sitting by yourselves back here? Cool costumes.”

Silvi and Aruna both blinked. “What costumes?”

Across the room Brigg and Aouri found their duel cut abruptly short, as Morty leaped from a table and sliced through Aouri’s foam sword with his katana.

“Whoa!” Aouri yelled, stumbling back. “Hey, I liked that sword…”

Morty frowned. “I thought you were fighting with real swords…” He sounded somewhat disappointed.

Brigg peered at him, eyes narrowed. “Don’t I know you?” he muttered. Taking out a cigarette, he lit it and stuck it in his mouth, putting his toy sword away. “I think I met ya last year… The assassin kid, right?”

Morty nodded. “Yeah. We talked a little.”

Brigg shrugged. “Well, I met an assassin not too long ago… She used t’ be after me, actually. Her name’s Artemis. She’d probably give ya better tips than I can. Don’t think she’s here right now though… I’ll mention ya to ‘er.”

“I got one better,” said Aouri. He walked over to a table and found a pen and began jotting down a number. “I got ‘er number. Here.” He handed the napkin to Morty. “Call ‘er. Bug ‘er. She’s pretty much a ninja, just like yer dressed as.”

Morty glanced at the number for a second before stowing the napkin away in his shirt. “Right. Okay. Maybe she’d be a better help than Ida…” Remembering his partner, he looked around for her and saw her still hovering around the drink table, at the moment dumping alcohol in the punchbowl. He narrowed his eyes and frowned.

“Excuse me…” He walked off and went to go stop her before she got in trouble and got them both kicked out. Spiking the punch…She was really childish when drunk.

The door suddenly slammed closed, and Drake and Katina hurried into the room. When he spotted Brigg Drake walked over to him, tapping him on the shoulder. “Uh…there’s…people. They ain’t on the list, but they wanna get in…”

“Who?” asked Brigg.

Drake flipped his clipboard over and read off a list of names he’d jotted on the back of it. “Uh…Baranza, Xirath, Jo, Artemis, Veluriel, Hades, Hermes…and Kronos.”

“Kronos??” Silvi jerked from her seat in surprise, the air around her beginning to stir. “Where??”

Brigg held up his hands, easing her back. “Whoa, hang on! No violence in here! Especially magical violence.” When everyone stared at him he blinked, frowning. “I mean no real violence. This is plastic.” He waved his sword around and then tossed it away, turning to Drake. “Um…stall them?”


Drake gave him a blank stare.

Luckily he didn’t have to worry about stalling anyone, as the door burst wildly open and the spiky mullet-hawked Xirath strode in, dusting off his hands as the gathering of unwanted guests entered behind him.

“Now then, where’s the !@#$%& beer?” he yelled.

“Oh no,” Nero muttered from near the door. He whirled around in time to snatch Kavota out of the air, holding her back before she pounced on top of Xirath’s head and attempted to maul him. A string of obscenities flowed from her mouth directed at the Brit, and she thrashed wildly in Nero’s grip. “He hasn’t done anything yet, Vota, and you know what happened last time! …You could help a bit,” Nero said to Staci, who stood aside watching them.

“Psh, you’re an android, honey, you don’t need my help. Besides, this is entertaining. Let her go and see who wins.” Staci sat down and munched on some fruit salad from a plate, not at all worried.

“You guys couldn’t get a bigger door?” Hades peered through the doorway, Hermes peeking over his shoulder.

“Oi, lead me t’ the beer!” Baranza called raucously.

The scene erupted into more chaos as Xirath and Kavota screamed at each other, Mari nearly tried to strangle Jo after being called some choice words, Veluriel began threatening people’s souls, and Hades was still attempting to fit through the door.

Drake twitched slightly, and the lights flickered overhead. The noise was beginning to get to him. “Hey! SHUT UP!!” he screamed over all the din, bringing it down to silence in an instant as everyone turned to stare at him. He clenched his fists, and bolts of electricity crackled over his arms, the lights flickering again even more. “You keep fighting, I start zapping.” The situation might have been controlled thanks to the rather effective threat, until the last unwanted guest popped into view in the center of the room.

“Did I miss anything?” Kronos asked rather innocently.

In one moment Silvi let out a cry and unleashed a torrent of fire at the vampire, Hermes managed to slip past Hades and flutter into the door searching for Lauriel, Kavota slipped from Nero’s grasp and leaped onto Xirath’s head, and Drake twitched and the lights flickered again and went out. And all hell broke loose.

Happy Halloween.