Part #1 War in the Pacfic (Paratroopers)

by mikenter

in Completed Works

Part #1 War in the Pacfic (Paratroopers)

Paratroopers

By:Michael J. Himes

Part #1
War in the Pacific

We boarded the C-17 plane from O'ahu at 0300 with all our gear and nobody uttered a word, we all knew were we were headed, some were off behind enemy lines into their lands without any tanks or air support, and if that wasn't enough we have to get there with enemy fighters and flack trying to take us out of the air to have a nice drink of the Pacific salt water, and with only three fighter cover. Our squad is made up of sixty men armed with Ak-47's, 10 medics, and our sergeant. The odds were against us, but we were paratroopers the main role in the War in the Pacific as its became known as, we were supposed to do this. This was our life, our meaning, our cause, we were the first line, or as we've came to use the term behind line, but we were the first defense if we failed the United States could fall right into an all out asualt so the country depended on our help. I'll never understand why they started using paratroopers for there defense but never the less, we could not fail.
> 'Me (again)' by mikenter

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Sep 27th 2007
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historical in pacfic war
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Ok, I know it's short with spelling mistakes and gramer mistakes but I used the notepad program. It's short cause this is just the introduction but hopefully the next few parts will get longer. I started writing this about thirty minutes ago so yea just the spur of the moment type thing.

I know that I'm still writing Extinction of Man but I've got writers block and I just had an inspiration but it wouldn't fit it so I started this.

Please give me constructive criticism.

Comments

totorofan Says:

When I wrote the first chapter of the story i wrote called "Freedom Fighting" I figured something important you should know: Instead of having just a plain intro thatt tells you things about the story before it starts, try working that info into the story slowly bit by bit. It gives the story a better appeal to the reader. So instead of saying, "Our squad is made up of sixy men armed with Ak-47's, 10 medics, and our sergeant," try working it into the story like, " As I looked around me, I saw our 60 man squad, all the men gazing fearlessly at the enemy land below us," and so on. Also, try working more emotion into the writing. like: What did the men feel? What did you feel? Were you scared? and so on. Emotion catches the readers attention. Use lots of emotion especially in the first sentance, so youll keep the reader's attention, kay? Youre a very good writer! Keep up the good work! =^-^=

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xXCherryXTreeXx Says:

Ooooh found it lol
Nice job! xD

1 Reply