Don't Forget Me

Every once in awhile, I make what I call a "big" picture. Those "big pictures" are usually the best that I do, and more often than not, they portray some strong emotion that I'm feeling at the time I make them. This picture is both a picture of emotion and a celebration of my 15,000 hits. I'm 200 over now, but overall, I don't think that's so bad.

Before I go on, let me tell you that I got these lovely maple leaf brushes right here:
http://scully7491.deviantart.com/
Credit goes to Scully7491 of Deviant Art for making these! Thank you!

Now...

Here is "Don't Forget Me", a special dedication to someone who was once very important in my life...and also, to all of you who stuck with me through these most difficult times.

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15,000. Fif.teen.Thou.sand. Had it really been that long since...?

"No, it's been longer," she thought bitterly, brushing a strand of her long bangs from her eyes. Her destination was the local park, the one that had become her favorite escape over the long, grueling months she had been existing since her world turned upside down. Every new clue she found seemed only to leave her more behind than she had been the day before. It was a continuously crushing blow to the 21-year-old's fragile heart.

As she walked through the streets of town with eyes made of cold steel, memories forced her weary mind's gears to turn once more. Memories of a face, a voice, a presence; all belonged to him, and something in her heart pinched shut for a moment. She winced away the thoughts, concentrating instead of the steady clak clak clakking of her black knee-high boots. She always wore them in fall and winter, usually under a long black skirt. Dark colors usually made her feel somber, and inevitably, extremely gloomy. But the side of her that walked down the old paths today was well-suited in dark colors. She felt safer there, wrapped in shades of black, stone gray and crimson red, sometimes even with a bold splash of autumn gold adorning some insignificant part of her. She knew it was there, and it helped bring a kind of...sharp-edged balance to her mood.

She continued on until she reached the park. Her favorite spot was deep into it, past the swing sets and picnic tables, down the gravel path meant for utility vehicles. Out there, next to the water tower, was a group of trees that one could get lost in. It was her special place; her meditation garden, only without the garden. But to get there, she'd have to cross each of the regular areas first.

"Deserted, as always," she breathed into the air. The park certainly was empty. It was almost a bit eerie.

As if nature had heard her thoughts, browned oak leaves shivered in the wind, filling her ears with the first peaceful sound she had heard all day. What breeze made it to the ground lifted the tail of her skirt, and she gave in, smiling and taking a graceful pose usually seen on foot-tall statues of geisha. She imagined herself with a white mask and scarlet blush, then closed her eyes, letting the world disappear around her.

She did not realize how well she had memorized the path, for when she opened her eyes again, there she was, right next to her sanctuary. She blinked her cloudy eyes and stepped forward. One deep breath, then another. Moments stretched into eternity as she stood there, images recalling themselves in her mind's eye.

"15,000 hours...


625 days...


1 year...and 7 months...


maybe longer..."


Kiseiki frowned, her spirit visibly wilting in the daytime sun. The words kept repeating, over and over, endlessly. Tears threatened her eyes, their familiar sting causing the hole in her heart to throb strongly. The wind picked up again. Its delicate arms swirled around her, lifting beautiful fall leaves into the air. She raised a hand to her neck and clasped it tightly around the simple black cloth she had tied there. It still had his scent--her one-time most precious person in the world. When she held the fabric near to her, all of the suffering of the past two years faded, even if only for a moment. She had new friends now, new companions, a new love...but the pain of leaving words unsaid and feelings left unexposed was enough to break her heart.

Hot tears slipped from her eyes as her head lowered itself towards the ground. At that moment, the wind shifted suddenly, flashing the sun's light into her tightly shut eyes. She jerked, her eyes racing skyward as if to catch intruders of her personal space. However, in that moment, her gray eyes widened, taking on the soft tones of the past as she drank it all in. Like feathers falling from a dove's wings, dozens of autumn leaves floated through the sky. Kiseiki gazed at this in wonder, and finally a sad, lonely smile appeared as she watched the leaves fall.

"Wasurenaide"

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Dedicated to Sensei...wherever he may be.