Poem for an Imaginary Lover

This is a poem I wrote. I decided to speak it and post the audio file. I feel hearing things and reading along with them make it easier to understand. Here are the words:

It's strange -
trying, in vain, to find
the source of the conundrum
leaves me deaf, blind and bumb.
Scrunched up on half of my bed,
playing dead,
trying to forget what you said.
If you try to shock me alive,
your hope will soon die.
No feeling, I'm numb...
I use this phallus to make me feel
during the orgasam, I feel real
but after it fades, I lie and die again.
My love, my friend,
I wish you were here.
I wish you were real
And not a figmint from my mind
that only I see,
conjured to make me less lonely.
When I make you arrive,
I come alive.
When I wake to the truth
I die.
I may try to lie
But don't worry, baby-
I'll never say good-bye


More like, Poem for Masterbation. LULLZ.